Are you dreaming of buying a home of your own?
Today’s Q/A comes from a reader who is worried about buying a home before prices get even higher in this crazy market (2022). She wrote:
Hello Leslie! please forgive me for writing you a practical book, but I really would love your advice. I feel like I know you so well even though you don’t know me. I listened to all 60 something podcasts and I’m starting them over right now.
I need a little advice and maybe some prayers from someone who understands the laws. We have moved 9 times in 19 years of marriage, and our landlords informed us that they are selling some time this spring to summer. Both my husband and I are on the brink of launching businesses that could potentially bring in 6 figures, but we are in the early development stage after years of poverty-level income and food stamps.
Your story has been such an inspiration to me! I was able to know Bob Proctor through our company … so Bob came and spoke for us many times…
The law of polarity has been very prominent in my life. I have experienced such great extremes in pleasure and pain. My mom took me from my Dad at the age of 2, and he finally found me when I turned 18. (My uncle was a wealthy millionaire who I lived with, and my mother was from extreme poverty, and I was abducted and abused terribly by a family friend after living with my uncle) that I am certain that with such a long stretch of hardship a very great period of time of abundance is shortly due.
Ok, so my point is, we have been looking for a house, and my Dad has finally consented to help us with the purchase, because we have not had enough time to gather money down. In this skyrocketing market, we have decided to get creative and have a live-in renter…
I keep finding great solutions that are totally possible. My father has offered to help … But he is SO NEGATIVE!! Because of all the evidence he has seen, he has drawn the conclusion that everything that is possible that could go wrong will. He is an avid believer in Murphy’s laws. Which I think is ironic that he thinks I’m crazy for being so positive, especially with all the bad that happened to me. But I see so much potential!!!!
Tonight we are waiting back on an offer for a house. And he is stewing, fuming, making contingencies and ultimatums that are pushing people away, and the sellers might consider our offer but they don’t appreciate his bull headed time demand and considering other offers. Dad is convinced the realtor is trying to milk him for more money and that the negotiations are all about trying to get more out of him, rather than other possibilities of the sellers situations.
I am trying to stay positive but am tied to a very big opposition block butting heads with him. I’m trying to smooth things over with my very kind and patient realtor, who doesn’t know just how bad Dad is talking about him behind his back. I am trying to help him see just how agitated my Dad is.
We have lost so many homes before partly due to my Dad backing out of helping us, and having to go on to rent once again. I am tired of renting, and with the market going up every year, I feel a sense of urgency that we need to act now. But I don’t want to feel pressured or rushed. I want to see it all come together beautifully and effortlessly, but having Dad involved is making the whole thing panic driven.
How do I maintain a positive attitude when I am torn between the need for his help and the need to have some autonomy. He is taking over the whole process, and I can’t negotiate the way I would like to. Is it possible to find the balance with him in the picture? Or do we try to find a way without his help?
Just see yourself in a home, feeling grateful for how everything worked out. Your job is to hold that vision, and keep calm. Let your dad fuss and rage – it won’t kill anything for you unless you think it will. He could mess everything up and it could still turn out for your best good in spite of him, as long as you stay connected to the vision and trust God. Don’t worry about the market. If God can bless you with $10,000 he can bless you with $100,000. If he can bless you with $100,000, then he can bless you with $1,000,000.
Your dad won’t be able to repel the right seller or agent with his bad attitude if he tried. It all comes down to you and your mindset – don’t worry about anyone else’s. This is between you and God alone.
Those who need to be a part of it will play whatever role they need to play, but it’s not your job to know what those roles are supposed to be, who is supposed to play them, or manage the creative process.
Just see it done and be at peace. If it’s not this house, it will be a better house. If it’s not now, it will be at the right time. If it doesn’t work out with your dad at all, that may be best, anyway.
You don’t have to know how it will happen, just see yourself where you want to be, and be ready to follow and do the things that YOU are prompted to do to get there.
And I’ll add a few more thoughts here.
We can also learn from the early Saints in D&C 119:2-8 where the Lord told them:
“Let them awake, and arise, and come forth… Let them repent … of all their covetous desires, before me, saith the Lord; for what is property unto me? saith the Lord… For have I not the fowls of heaven, and also the fish of the sea, and the beasts of the mountains? Have I not made the earth? Do I not hold the destinies of all the armies of the nations of the earth? Therefore, will I not make solitary places to bud and to blossom, and to bring forth in abundance? saith the Lord. Is there not room enough … that you should covet that which is but the drop, and neglect the more weighty matters?”
For more on this topic, read the following two ebooks:
- Hidden Treasures: Heaven’s Astonishing Help with Your Money Matters – it’s FREE!
- The Science of Receiving – also FREE!