Category: Peace of Mind

Unplanned Movie Review

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What would a woman feel, watching this movie, if she has already had an abortion? 

My husband and I saw Unplanned last night. This is the first time we’ve ever paid to watch an R-rated film at the theater, but trusted the feedback from friends who said the MPAA rating was “off”.

I really only had ONE main question on my mind:

*** What would a woman feel, watching this movie, if she has already had an abortion? ***

It was rated R for graphic and disturbing images by the MPAA, an admission that dismembering a fetus with a vacuum is disturbing. So in many parts of the country, a girl can GET an abortion without parent consent, but she can’t WATCH a movie about abortion without it.

So, was the movie only made for pro-lifers?
Who else would even WANT to see it?

This was my curiosity.

I wanted to watch the movie through the eyes of women who, perhaps at one time, found themselves in a crisis pregnancy of their own, who felt like they had no other options, and who were pressured to abort.

How would THESE women feel, watching an anti-abortion movie? How could they possibly WANT to watch it, at the risk of feeling triggered by memories of their own trauma, or of feeling movie-induced guilt? (Having not yet seen it, but assuming this is what the movie would cause.)

Why would ANYONE want to subject themselves to that?

I had to find out if I could recommend the movie to THESE women.

I read reviews that said that the movie was about LOVE and REDEMPTION, but none of the trailers really provided any significant glimpses into that. They all seemed to focus on horror and grief.

But, like many movies, I found that the action reel was NOT an accurate representation of the experience this film provided.

I don’t know if I should offer a spoiler-alert here, because the movie’s power doesn’t rely on surprises – it’s relatively predictable. But I’m going to share some things that are not revealed in the trailers.

First of all, the disturbing images happen during the early scenes of the film, showing one woman’s narrated experience with having a vacuum aspirated abortion, and then later a chemically-induced abortion (from a pill). The rest of the movie shows how she deals with the memory of her experiences.

At first, she buries the memories as deeply as she can, and throws herself into the cause of helping other women in crisis, dedicating her life to giving women the care they need. Her passion and heart for helping women is genuine.

But then… (insert trailer clip here)…

… and she spends the next segment of the film dealing with her feelings of deep regret for her own abortions, and for participating at a leadership level in an organization that was consciously deceiving thousands of women in crisis who were given mistruths about their procedures, and who were not fully informed of their options.

The movie was masterful at helping the viewer feel a good deal of what this woman felt all along the spectrum (as this is a true story). In the end, you feel (with her) a complete sense of being healed – her memories are still sad and probably always will be, but the remorse, horror, and grief is powerfully resolved, and she feels wholly loved, forgiven, and restored.

If someone had told me this before watching the film, I’m not sure I would have believed it was possible – not possible to experience, let alone possible to portray on the big screen. But I am convinced that this movie speaks truth. It illustrates how God can reach and restore a person, no matter how dark, fallen, or lost that person may feel. Here is a woman that was complicit in over 20,000 fetal terminations AND came to feel the full weight of it – but then ultimately felt that burden lifted. Watch the movie to feel her healing with her.

To sum up, if you or anyone you know has had an abortion or participated in one, and want to feel and remember it differently than perhaps you do now, I strongly encourage you to watch the movie.

I’m now convinced that these women are exactly who the movie was made for.

I invite you to see and feel it all, even the darker side of it, because feeling her Godly sorrow with her is precisely what makes the feelings of relief, joy, and awe possible.

#unplanned #lawofpolarity #rarefaith

Learn more here -> https://www.unplannedfilm.com/

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Finding Relief from Heavy Burdens

A Special Message of Faith

In December of 2012 I was asked to speak during my congregation’s sacrament meeting. This is one thing that is common throughout my church worldwide: that members are given opportunities to teach each other about the gospel, and how they are learning to apply it in their lives.

Here’s the message I shared:

When we realized back in 2006 that we had purchased too much real estate at the wrong time, sometimes all we could do to calm the raging storm was to turn off the lights, close our eyes, and let “Peace Like a River” CD soothe our troubled and fearful hearts.

We tried to focus on the Savior, and let Him assure us that in the eternal scheme of things, everything was going to turn out okay if we fixed our faith upon Him.

He showed us that no matter how heavy the burden, he had the power to do for us what He had done for Alma’s people as described in Mosiah chapter 24 when he told them:

“I will … ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that … you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.”

The Bible tells us to have faith in Jesus Christ, and to love one another. But until recently, I never really recognized an important connection between these two directives, and how it relates to the lift of our burdens.

At the time, I considered the peace I ultimately discovered to be a tremendous personal victory. We were still in a mess, but He taught us peace in spite of it. That all of that could be happening and that we could find peace anyway was a miracle to me.

As our difficulty stretched on, I felt that I could relate in a small way to the man who had been a part of the fateful Martin Handcart company who said, “‘I… pulled my handcart when I was so weak and weary … that I could hardly put one foot ahead of the other. I have looked ahead and … said, I can go only that far and there I must give up…’ ” He continued: ” ‘I have gone on to that sand and when I reached it, the cart began pushing me. I have looked back many times to see who was pushing my cart, but my eyes saw no one. I knew then that the angels of God were there… The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay, and I am thankful that I was privileged to come in the Martin Handcart Company.'”

As hard as it was for us over those last few years, I wouldn’t give up the testimony we gained through it – that God lives and is mindful of us and gives us strength.

However, while it’s true, that when things appear to be falling apart, a return to the Savior (pondering his life’s example, repenting of our mistakes, finding gratitude, and imagining his steady and unconditional friendship) always brings peace, sometimes it can be really hard to set aside personal challenges enough to be able to think about helping someone else.

But what I’ve been learning is that our needs are cared for when we focus on others.

This is probably a more complete and true exercise of faith in Christ. Not just believing that He is real and finding peace in our challenges, but taking it one step further… do we really believe that our needs will be met if we forget ourselves? Do we really trust that the Lord will carry us through our problems if we lose ourselves in the service of others?

I remember back several years when my husband and I were trying to be anxiously engaged in a good cause, but our investment problems were screaming so loudly that it seemed nearly impossible to carry on.

We had come to the end of all of our visible resources – our savings were entirely depleted, our credit was completely exhausted, and with only $200 in the bank and no paycheck in sight (with another $15,000 in bills due in the coming 2 weeks), the moment we had tried so hard to avoid was finally upon us.

It was our anniversary weekend, and so with no other solution in sight, we decided to at least enjoy a dinner together and try to rekindle our hope in the future, and our faith in Christ. During our conversation, it dawned on us that even though we were at rock bottom, we were still alive, still breathing, and still able to help others.

We asked ourselves, if we were homeless, could we still teach? Could we still help others? Would we? Of course we could, and would. So that’s when our conversation shifted. Instead of focusing on our immediate needs, we projected our minds forward and imagined where we saw ourselves in 10 years. Did we think we’d be back on our feet by then? Would we have figured things out and put our lives back together by then? That seemed easy enough to believe. So then our focus shifted, and we brainstormed on the things we could do right away to serve others better, and made those plans.

By the end of dinner, we felt hope again. We felt the Spirit confirm to us that although we were in a pretty ugly mess of our own, we were on the right track.

So we paid the bill and just as my husband was opening my car door, the waiter came running out to the parking lot after us with a voided receipt yelling,

“Since it’s your anniversary, the meal’s on us!”

In that moment, we experienced a little bit of what the Lord had taught his apostles. He had tried to assure them that as long as they would feed his sheep, their true needs would be met. We’ve heard it so many times: “Consider the lilies of the field…” “…trust the Lord with all thine heart” “…fear not…” but how it is possible?

To explain, let me share it the way Elder Jeffrey R. Holland described it:

After Christ was no longer with his apostles, in effect, Peter said: “Brethren, it has been a glorious three years. …But [it] is over. He has finished His work, and He has risen from the tomb. He has worked out His salvation and ours. So … ‘What do we do now?’ I don’t know more to tell you than to return to your former life, rejoicing. I intend to ‘go a fishing.’”

But, … the fishing wasn’t very good. Their first night back on the lake, they caught nothing—not a single fish. With the first rays of dawn, they disappointedly turned toward the shore, where they saw in the distance a figure who called out to them,

“Cast the net on the right side of the ship, and ye shall find,” —and with those simple words, recognition begins to flood over them. Just three years earlier these very men had been fishing on this very sea. On that occasion too they had “toiled all the night, and [had] taken nothing,”…. But a fellow Galilean on the shore had called out to them to let down their nets, and they drew “a great multitude of fishes,” enough that their nets broke, the catch filling two boats so heavily they had begun to sink.

Now it was happening again. [They] eagerly lowered their net, and “they were not able to draw it for the multitude of fishes.”

After a joyful reunion… Looking at their battered little boats, … and a stunning pile of 153 fish, Jesus said … three times, “Peter, do you love me more than you love all this?” Peter said, “Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee.”

To which Jesus responded …perhaps saying something like: “Then Peter, why are you here? Why are we back on this same shore, by these same nets, having this same conversation? Wasn’t it obvious then and isn’t it obvious now that if I want fish, I can get fish?

“What I need, Peter, are disciples—and I need them forever. I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to preach my gospel and defend my faith. I need someone who loves me, truly, truly loves me, and loves what our Father in Heaven has commissioned me to do.

“Ours is not a feeble message. … It is the work of Almighty God, and it is to change the world. So, Peter, for the second and presumably the last time, I am asking you to leave all this and to go teach and testify, labor and serve loyally…”

“If ye love me, keep my commandments,” Jesus said. So we have neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, and the truth to defend. We have wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. In short, we have a life of devoted discipleship to give in demonstrating our love of the Lord. We can’t quit and we can’t go back…

To those who have not yet joined with us in this great final cause of Christ, we say, “Please come.” To those who were once with us but have retreated, preferring to pick and choose a few cultural hors d’oeuvres from the smorgasbord of the Restoration [of the gospel of Jesus Christ] and leave the rest of the feast, I say that I fear you face a lot of long nights and empty nets. The call is to come back, to stay true, to love God, and to lend a hand.” – Elder Jeffrey Holland

Now, on Christmas we were blessed to spend some time on the phone with our missionary son Jacob, and I asked him: What can we do for you? What can we do to help you?

He replied, emotionally, “I just want you guys to love each other. I want you to do your best to get along with each other. It’s so true that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. I just want you guys to also stay in touch with me, keep writing letters, keep emailing me, keep me posted with what’s going on in your lives, the good and the bad…”

Our Father in Heaven – during our separation from Him – wants us to love each other, and stay in touch with Him through prayer. He wants us to go to him with the good and the bad, and let Him be a central part of our life.

And when we have burdens too heavy and worries too consuming to think outside of ourselves, I testify that we can put our trust in the Lord, hand him our burdens, …and as we focus on helping someone else, everything will work out just as it should.

I have a special journal dedicated to this – for when I have a concern or a need that seems to be more than I can handle, I’ll write “What I needed” on the left side, and then on the right side I write “How He helped”. After all, He has asked us to acknowledge his hand in all things – and this is one way I’m trying to do it.

(The following section is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to a friend, giving more details on this new journal tool.)

I felt the Lord inspired me to do something I hadn’t done before, when things were terribly overwhelming to me. The Spirit nagged me for 2 days until I did it… and that is this:

I got a notebook or journal that was specifically to be for one purpose. On the left side of the page, I wrote: “What I needed”, and I listed the things I needed to turn over to the Lord. I imagined angels being given permission to get to work on those items for me, because I was physically, mentally, emotionally unable to handle them myself at that time.  On the right side of the page I wrote: “How He helped” because I thoroughly expected Him to handle some of those things for me, and I wanted to document His hand in the process.

Within 20 minutes, I got a phone call that answered one of the pleas listed on the left.  Over time, it seems that all of them have been either checked off or making good progress. To me, it’s working better than a vision board ever did, because it’s more of a system for the purpose of fulfilling my life’s mission, and for handling the distractions that slow me down as well.

Once I put something on the “what I needed” side, I let it go and I get busy on something that I CAN make progress with, knowing that the other items are being handled.

And now, verily I say unto you, and what I say unto one I say unto all, be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you; (D&C 61:36)

Related: Do the Problems Go Away?

(Back now, to my talk at church…)

I know that God lives, that Jesus Christ is with us, He’s mindful of our heartaches, and ready to help. He is merciful. He loves us. He loves you. He knows what you’re going through; it’s not pointless.

May we exercise our faith in Christ not just by believing He is real, but also by trusting him – literally – to handle our burdens that feel too big, while we look instead for opportunities to feed his sheep.

This is my prayer for all of us.

Originally published on December 18, 2013

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When life is falling apart

Michelle posted the following question:

Hi, so my husband and I have been trying to live these principles for about a year now. We have seen it work in our lives, even before we read your books. We are saving money to buy your more advanced course. We are changing our thoughts and our language, which has not been easy for me, as I have lived with anxiety for the last 17 years. We are seeing a shift in our mental dialogue. We have some very lofty goals that we are excited to manifest.

The question I have has to do with changing the dialogue when you are in a job that you hate, doesn’t make enough money, and there is no space for promotion or increase of monetary value. My husband works about 60 hours per week and makes about 2000 every two weeks.

We have 8 children and our house is falling apart. My husband can do all the work to fix the plumbing problems, but he has no time. We can’t, at this moment afford to pay someone else to do it for us. We are both stressed out about it. He is very positive about it, but there are times where he can’t see a way to fix the problem. We have a very small set of skills between us. I have been stay at home mom for 17 years and we just had a new baby in December of this past year. My husband had to have back surgery a couple of years ago. He had a great job, but had to leave due to inability to do the work, because of his back, so now we make much less.

We tried to start our own business and don’t all our capital to do it, only to realize my husband has a difficult time doing jobs where people have expectations. He is amazing at everything, but he gets major anxiety. So, we are where we are at this point. I hope you don’t mind me messaging you, but we really want things to change. I know part of the change is being grateful for where we are.

Can you give me some insight? I am taking your Mindset Fundamentals course and that is helping a lot … but I am still stuck with this. It’s like I can see how we will be fine financially when I know we are going to get chunks of money, like tax return coming, but like you said in, I think lesson 8 of your course, it is so frustrating to get those bigger chunks because you want to make sure it goes to the right things, but when it runs out there is no flow, so you’re more stressed out.

We have ideas on creating flow, but are unable to see how to get there at this moment. I know it will come, but I know I need to trust I have enough now and be grateful for what we have. Any advice or inspiration would be so helpful. I know you probably don’t help this way, but if you do see this and you feel compelled to offer words of wisdom I would appreciate.

Life seems to be falling apart more the last couple of weeks that we have been investing in living this way than it has before. It just feels chaotic and overwhelming. Thank you for all that you have written and put together. We are extremely passionate about these principles and can see the truth of them in reading the scriptures and we know that Heavenly Father has led us to read your books to help us fulfill the plan for which he has placed us here. We are grateful for the future that has been created in us. I just need help to be grateful for where we are now.

Here is my response:

Hi Michelle, the good news is it doesn’t matter how chaotic or impossible things seem to be. God has a way of sustaining us and giving us what we need in the moment we need it as we choose to take a deep breath and trust him. It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do – it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. And the only way to figure out how to do that is by trying and trying until you succeed.

You can’t do what I’m talking about unless life IS a chaotic mess… it’s the only path to discovering it’s true. Dare to believe that he’ll give you what you need today. As you get to the end of the day, look back and take notice of the things that went well. Are you still breathing? Are you fed? Do you have a roof over your head still? Look at that – he provided.

I would encourage you to listen to the podcasts if you aren’t already. There’s one that I’m trying to get published but it’s been held up in production called “Keep Calm and Watch What Happens”. Until that gets posted, try doing what the title suggest. When you feel the stress build, choose to be calm with the intention to see what being calm causes… keep repeating that to yourself “keep calm, and watch what happens…”

I dare you to test it. Let go of the need for things to be your way in your time. Practice being calm and let the Lord provide in HIS time, in His way. I promise you will see better results as you do that, than if you continue to fuss and fret that it isn’t already the way you think it should be.

Michelle replied:

That is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for your response. I had been telling myself, “Good thing, bad thing, who knows.” But I need to remember to be calm and watch. I will look forward to that podcast. I have been absorbing so much and it is bringing life into our lives. Thank you!

For more on this topic, visit www.prosperthefamily.com

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If something is a struggle, is it right?

Lisa writes:

Hi Leslie, I am sure you are totally busy, but I am just really bummed out right now. I am currently attending the University of Phoenix online to get my psychology degree. I am taking a philosophy class which I thought I would love, turns out the instructor is very picky so I am not enjoying or doing well in this class.

I read once that if something is a struggle, then it is not the right thing to be doing. If I am meant to be doing something than it should be inspired and easy flowing. I want to be a life coach and thought that with a degree in psychology, it might make things better.

I am worried too because I am getting financial aid and if I fail this class I may have to end up paying for the class or pay loans back or something which will put me further in the hole. I am just sitting here wondering what I am doing and really very upset. I didn’t know who to turn to or even what to do right now, So I guess I just needed to vent. I am scared, lets just say that. I am at work right now, if I wasn’t I would be crying. – Lisa C.

My response:

Hi Lisa!

First of all, take a deep, deep breath.

Second of all, let me add my perspective on the comment, “if something is a struggle, then it is not the right thing to be doing.” I think there is some truth to that, but it’s been twisted.

I gave birth to a few kids, and every one of those labors was a TREMENDOUS struggle. That doesn’t mean in the least that it wasn’t the right thing to do. The truth is that ANYthing worth having is worth struggling for. The key is to keep your “WHY” vivid and alive. When you lose sight of why you’re putting yourself through something tough, then the pain is only magnified. When you remember the people whose lives you’ll change forever, the passion and the dream of that expectation is anesthesia that dulls the pain.

I can’t tell you how many times my husband and I thought, “We can do anything, as long as it gets us closer to our goal, and as long as we know it’s temporary.” We always said that about the un-fun things we had to do along the way.

Furthermore, if you give up now just because it isn’t fun anymore, then how will you ever be qualified to coach someone else through their struggles?

If I were you, I’d do what I could to remember the Law of Polarity and the Law of Rhythm, especially now. As horrible as this is, is how wonderful the reward will be on the other side. If it’s only a little bit bad, then the reward will only be a little bit good. If things are bad today, you can expect an upturn in your mood soon enough. Look forward to it, expect it. Be grateful for the pain today, because it is only through that pain that there could possibly be meaning in the victory.

As for the “flow” concept, yes, things can go smoothly and you can have that peace of mind being in the flow. But it is an internal thing. Life will always deliver challenges. ALWAYS. Life mastery means finding peace of mind and assurance that everything is going to be okay no matter what. When you live in that kind of a state of being, then the resources you need begin to flow your way more naturally. But remember, you’ve got to achieve that mindset before it flows, and that mindset can only be achieved in the middle of hardship. (Anyone can find peace of mind when life is going smoothly; the best rewards come from finding it when life is NOT going smoothly. That’s what separates the winners from the crowd.)

So, in reality, your hardship right now is a tremendous gift to you – you’re being given the opportunity to prove your mental toughness and demonstrate right thinking in spite of it. Pass the test and you leap to a new level of life success. Without the hardship, you would have no opportunity to prove yourself, and no corresponding reward would be waiting.

Anyway, I know this probably isn’t what you wanted to hear, but I hope you find it helpful.

Hang in there – a better day is coming if you respond to this the right way. Think, “How would a champion handle this? How would a highly successful success coach handle this?” You’ve got it inside of you to conquer this – be kind to yourself. Do your best and let God handle the rest. Whatever the outcome is, chalk it up to your experience that adds to the value you’ll have to offer your future clients.

Warmest regards, 🙂

Leslie

Lisa’s reply:

Thank you so so much Leslie! It means so much to me that you took time out to write me back! I love every bit of your reply. It all makes perfect sense! Again thank you so much! Just what I needed.

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