Meet Kathryn Barney, Mindset Mastery Honors Graduate, piano teacher, entrepreneur, wife, and mother extraordinaire.
What I love about Kathryn is how she dealt with the bully in her head during her Mindset Mastery course that almost had her convinced that manifesting doesn’t work for her. I am also so grateful for how authentically she shares her hardships and victories because it has strengthened so many others inside our community already.
She was first introduced to the books about ten years ago. She did the Fundamentals Ecourse and even joined the Mindset Mastery program back when it was still called “FTMF” (Family Time & Money Freedom). Over the years she attempted a few experiments on her own, and then ultimately decided to join a Guided class.
But one of the most difficult things our community watched her deal with was the disappearance of her troubled teen. She said:
He was missing for eight days. He left no trace and thought it through so carefully that we couldn’t find him anywhere. He was listed with NCMEC and other missing children organizations, he had a detective assigned to his case, and we had hundreds and thousands of people hanging up flyers, sharing the missing poster, and taking care of us. If I thought that everything we had been through already had destroyed me, I was in for a surprise. I was brought to a rock bottom I had never imagined before.
Read below to see how practicing Rare Faith on a few little things ultimately prepared her to face one of the most challenging experiences of her life.
Let’s start at the beginning.
In the Mindset Mastery course, we go easy during Phase 1. Students are instructed on some basic principles that help them apply Rare Faith to a practice goal of little significance, to discover and experience for themselves the connection between their thoughts and what happens. Then, as their confidence grows with each new lesson and assignment, things get a little more intense in Phase 2.
So, as Kathryn completed her coursework in the Mindset Mastery program, I had some questions for her:
Q. What was your experience with the “Inconsequential goal” from Phase 1?
I heard someone say in the forum that he set a goal to get a free sandwich. I thought that was a great idea. I LOVE sandwiches. I could almost eat one for every meal. So I set a goal for a free club sandwich from Kneaders. I spent some time visualizing it and got excited about it.
Then, I called a friend and invited her to lunch. She always insists on paying for me and she always lets me choose where to eat. I knew I’d be getting my free sandwich.But I also felt like I cheated. I didn’t really have to apply the principles at all. I did enjoy the sandwich, though.Oh well. I moved on to a new goal: find a $5 bill. I’m still working on that.My parents take their teenage and young adult grandkids to lunch to celebrate their birthdays. Because of quarantine and some other things, they are a bit behind and have several grandkids waiting for lunch. They are also still a little concerned about Covid, being in the vulnerable category. They feel like there is less risk if they are outside. Having downsized a few years back, they no longer have a yard. They asked me if they could use my yard to host their luncheon. Of course I said yes. It is scheduled for this coming Saturday.My mom emailed me today to tell me they are having Kneaders cater the food. She would like to bring sandwiches for me and my husband to thank us for allowing them to use our yard. She asked if I’d rather have a club or a turkey sandwich.It took me several hours to realize that I’M GETTING A FREE CLUB SANDWICH FROM KNEADERS!! And I didn’t do ANYTHING to get it, except make the goal, visualize it, and forget about it.I can’t wait for Saturday!!
YES! I broke through several terror barriers. The hardest one to break through was the barrier to getting more piano students. I got physically ill (shaking, nausea, fatigue) each time I took a step forward to committing to more piano students. I worked hard on identifying and releasing my emotions, focusing on the end result, and moving forward each day. Some days it was only a tiny step, but I committed to doing SOMETHING each day.
I also fought through the barrier that tells me that MANIFESTING does not work for me, that my brain is stronger than most and won’t submit to being told what to do.
[So] I wrote down a list of fears keeping me from getting students. Here are a few of them:
- I’m not good enough as a teacher.
- People don’t want to pay what I charge.
- I don’t own a grand piano, so I shouldn’t be teaching.
- If I have more students, I won’t be able to keep up with the house and my family.
- I’m too tired to teach more students. I just don’t have the energy.
- If I have more students, I will have no energy left for anything else.
I wrote the opposite of each of those fears and included them in my goal statement. I listen to it ten times a day, and I’m starting to really believe that they are not true.
I am learning to think TRUTH – which is that there are plenty of students out there who want EXACTLY what I have to offer. I am learning to believe that they are coming and will keep coming to me.
If you had difficulty during the course, how did you overcome it? Please describe:
I have had huge amounts of emotional healing to do, much of it from some very traumatic events in the past few years. And as soon as I started the course, everything was compounded when I suddenly developed severe insomnia.
I decided to be grateful for the insomnia and trust that there was a reason for it. …The insomnia DID turn out to be beneficial. It made me dig into emotions and symptoms that I wouldn’t otherwise have thought to, and those were directly related to the terror barriers keeping me from moving forward.
Q. What was your Phase 2 Goal? Please describe your experience:
I started the course with the goal of paying off some debt. As I worked through all my emotions and insomnia, and followed the steps in the course, my goal became filling my piano studio (something I have always struggled to do). I carefully wrote the goal and sent it to Leslie, who suggested that it was still too big and I needed to shoot for a bite-sized piece of it.
Goal: A desire to pay off debt turned into “Fill the Piano Studio”
I decided to set a date two weeks away (July 3) for a goal of registering three new students. I really struggled to believe it could be done. Students don’t sign up for lessons in the middle of the summer. They want to wait and start with the new school year. And I never get three students in a two-week time period, anyway.
But I wouldn’t let myself entertain those doubts. I kept listening to my goal statement and taking steps every day.
July 3 came. Here’s the results and also the trouble my brain had accepting them: I have one registered student who plans to begin on July 23. (Brain: Can I really count him? He isn’t actually starting yet.) I have one TRIAL student, who I had agreed to teach for a couple of free lessons to see if she’s interested in continuing. (Brain: I can’t really count her, can I? She’s not officially registered, even though she seems earnest about continuing.) I have one who will register when returning from a long vacation on July 4. (Brain: But she’s not registered YET. I can’t count her.) And one who called me ON JULY 3, came for a meet-and-greet, and registered on the spot. (Brain: I CAN COUNT THAT ONE!)
It’s now July 8, and I have a few more trial lessons scheduled and more inquiries coming in. And I’ve convinced my brain that ALL OF THOSE STUDENTS COUNT! (Brain: It’s just a coincidence. You didn’t do enough to pick up three new students.) Okay, I still have some convincing to do. But I don’t think I have EVER picked up new students in the summer, and especially not three or four in a two-week period!
Q. This wasn’t your first time through the Mindset Mastery course. You actually began learning about the principles about ten years ago. What caused your recent shift?
About ten years ago, my zone therapist introduced me to a new book she had just read entitled Hidden Treasures. She loaned it to me and I devoured it. I found Leslie’s other books, The Jackrabbit Factor and Portal to Genius and read them as well.I don’t really remember the order of events, but I know I completed the basic course several times over the years, as well as doing the FTMF (Mindset Mastery) course remotely. I believed completely in the principles but wasn’t great at applying themI do remember one occasion quite clearly. I was driving to a music teachers’ workshop and I was running late. It was being held at a music store with an unusually small parking lot. In fact, the store owners ask workshop attendees to carpool if possible and give strict guidelines about where they can park once the parking lot is full to avoid encroaching on the neighboring businesses. Because I was not on time, I knew I would likely be parking a couple of blocks away and walking. That’s not really a big deal, but why not try Rare Faith?
So as I drove, I envisioned pulling into the parking lot and finding an empty spot. And it worked. That’s exactly what happened. I was not surprised, because I had convinced my brain that that’s what would be happening, and I was simultaneously stunned because there is never a parking spot at that time.Well, the next few years brought some traumatic challenges to our family, and especially to me. I was in crisis mode physically, emotionally, spiritually, in my career, as a mother, as a wife — basically, there wasn’t a single element in my life that was untouched by trauma and crisis. I hadn’t made the Rare Faith principles part of my soul yet, so I didn’t turn to them to help me through the never-ending tragedies. And I barely survived.
There was one exception. After a year and a half of trying to convince my ex-husband that our mentally ill and troubled teenager needed some extreme help (specifically, residential treatment), I decided to write a goal statement and try my very undeveloped Rare Faith abilities. I used my voice recorder app to record the statement, and I played it at least ten times a day. I wrote it very carefully. For example, I stated that my son would get the help he would need (without specifying residential treatment), that we would find a way to pay for it, and that all involved would be cooperative and helpful (without naming my ex specifically).All of a sudden, my son told me that he had an enormous lymph node in his throat that had been there for months. Well, I thought that was great! Cancer can bring anyone to their knees! And when I prayed for him to get the treatment and help he needs, maybe it was for cancer. We went through all the testing and a biopsy (it would eventually be surgically removed). I never felt even slightly nervous or anxious about the results, because I knew it was in the Lord’s hands.It was benign. So that wasn’t the direction the Lord wanted him to go. But now I had a better understanding that the path may be very different than anything I had imagined.Then one day my son blew up at me. This was nothing new. He was so violent that there were times my husband wouldn’t leave me home alone with him. (He was in trouble with the law, sneaking out of the house almost every night, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and everything else you can imagine. The extreme violence toward me was the hardest part of everything.) On this particular day, he threw a chair across the room, in my direction but not right at me. Then he took off.I had not been able to convince my ex how extreme the behavior was. He just refused to believe it was happening. This time, I had had the presence of mind to open my voice recorder app and press “play.” I had the entire altercation recorded, including my very calm reaction to him. The minute my son ran off (to who knows where), I sent the recording to my ex. His response: “When can we get him into treatment?”That was absolutely shocking. Then, things moved fast. I had already researched several treatment centers, and the one we ended up with was NOT my first choice. But they were more responsive to my inquiries and they were covered by insurance, so we went with them. There was a waiting list of about three weeks, but then he was admitted.It was a complete lockdown facility (we almost had to call the police to even get him there). I kept listening to my goal statement ten times a day. It ended up being THE BEST facility I could have imagined. I loved the staff. I loved the therapists. I loved the program. I loved the rules. I loved their insurance team, who were able to convince our insurance companies to pay for FOUR MONTHS of treatment. (Insurance is notoriously bad at paying for residential treatment.)(My niece is currently in treatment at the center which was originally my first choice, and it has not been a good experience at all. I am so thankful we didn’t end up there. In the end, I am still amazed at how perfect everything was for our family’s needs at the facility where he was.)We saw miraculous changes in my son. He still has a long way to go and is still making hard life choices, but my goal statement came true and I felt so at peace and calm during the whole process. Our insurance did a review every FIVE days while he was there. My ex was a basket case every time, wondering if they would keep covering his treatment. And I was completely calm. I knew that when they stopped paying, it was because he had received all he could from the center. It was so remarkable to feel so calm.
After that experience (which was a long time ago), I couldn’t think of anything that I was nearly as passionate about which I could use as my next goal. I mean, how could I compare to using Rare Faith to save my child? I couldn’t. I tried a few times, but I just couldn’t muster the emotion about anything.In January 2020, my son had reverted to some of his old behaviors and we had decided to put him back in treatment for a “tune-up.” In response, he took off. For good. He was missing for eight days. He left no trace and thought it through so carefully that we couldn’t find him anywhere. He was listed with NCMEC and other missing children organizations, he had a detective assigned to his case, and we had hundreds and thousands of people hanging up flyers, sharing the missing poster, and taking care of us. If I thought that everything we had been through already had destroyed me, I was in for a surprise. I was brought to a rock bottom I had never imagined before.
I didn’t make a conscious choice to make that time my very rock bottom, but it was. In fact, my life has completely changed since then. There are several factors to this change. First, I started Intermittent Fasting in September, and it has turned my health around so that I’m healthier now that I have ever been in my entire life. Second, I learned how to do emotional clearing on myself (instead of going to someone else), and I work on myself every day. I have had so many miracles as a result of that. Third, the pandemic hit. It didn’t stress me or cause me anxiety like it did most people (I joke that’s because of the way my year started – I can handle anything now!). What happened for me during the pandemic, again without a conscious choice, is that I shifted along with the shift in life and community and the world. I turned into my heart and started to really change. And fourth, of course (and out of order on this list), was hitting rock bottom when my son disappeared. The final piece in my personal puzzle of change was when Leslie Householder offered me a partial scholarship to join Guided Mindset Mastery.I figured that, if I was going to do Guided Mindset Mastery, I might as well go all in and do Genius Bootcamp.And my life completely changed.During the weeks of the course, opportunities started opening all around me. I went in with a goal to pay off a particular amount of debt, and the goal morphed into gaining new piano students (a step toward paying off debt). But there was so much more. I have been feeling a drive to share what I have learned through the scriptures in parenting a struggling teen, and that drive became my guiding force. I have ideas coming to me faster than I can keep track of them. I took advantage of every free webinar or free consultation that I came across, with no expectation other than getting ideas about how to proceed. In doing that, I ended up hiring someone to build a website for me and I hired a business coach and ALL MY DREAMS ABOUT SHARING MY LIGHT WITH OTHERS ARE COMING TRUE.I have hit some pretty big obstacles along the way. The hardest was the severe insomnia that nearly paralyzed me. But I kept putting one foot in front of the other, even on days where I was so bleary-eyed that I could barely remember my name. Some days, I accomplished nearly nothing that I set out to do. But I tried, and I began to realize that’s all I can do. I learned so much from insomnia. I started digging into emotional trauma from my past that I wouldn’t have even thought about without looking into the insomnia, and it ended up being in direct correlation to the blocks toward accomplishing my goals. I also learned that when I accomplish something, it’s really because the Lord gave it to me, not because of something I did. Because I could barely do anything and the blessings kept coming. (Like Leslie and Trevan teach about Gideon winning his battle.)I still have a lot of obstacles. Who doesn’t? Today, I was fighting the limiting belief that “I can’t do this.” And the thought came to me very clearly: “No, I can’t. But I’m not the one doing it. The Lord is doing it through me. All I have to do — ALL I have to do — is take one step. And then the next.”Whatever happens, however I am able to share my light with others, it is because the Lord gave it to me and made it happen. He just wants to know that I’m committed.For my final goal, I gained three new piano students. My next goal was to fill my studio by August 24. I decided that “full” to me would be 15 hours of teaching, I’m only a few students away from reaching that goal. I have never had so many students coming to me so quickly! It is so easy. I listen to my goal statement several times a day, and things are just flowing.I am so thankful to have the mentorship of the Rare Faith facilitators and Leslie’s writings. Like I said earlier, it was the final piece of the puzzle, or the final number in the combination lock. It has changed everything and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for me.
Well done, Kathryn, and congratulations!
To learn more about Kathryn and what she’s up to, visit her websites:
- www.playfortissimo.com – Play Fortissimo: online and in-person group and private piano lessons.
- www.heartsintune.com – (website will be live soon) – Hearts in Tune: Parenting struggling teens.
- Do you have a story to share? Click here to let me know.
- Would you like to learn the Fundamentals? Click here to get started.
- Are you ready to MASTER the principles? Click here to take your understanding and skill to the next level.
- Ready to graduate from the Mindset Mastery course? Apply here.
- Do you have a problem to solve? Join us for the 3-day Genius Bootcamp.