Getting Personal Here…

Here’s a throwback post from 2011:

It’s after 2 in the morning and I’m still wide awake – just read my sister’s blog and I’m re-inspired to try harder to share more of my real and raw experiences, too.  Here comes a real and raw one now:

If you’ve known me very long, you may have noticed how I’ve sort of fallen off the map since May. (Thankfully, today’s technology allows me to automate much of my business and take a sabbatical when I need one without it being too obvious. One way I did this was by pulling out some of my favorite, archived articles/blog posts and recycling them, or talking about other interesting people and the messages they had to share instead of my own.)

As I’ve said before (like I did in my class, “Lessons Learned Since Writing Jackrabbit Factor,”) our world turned upside down about 5 years ago. Everything that had been going so well (you know, all those reasons I wrote Jackrabbit Factor and Hidden Treasures in the first place) suddenly imploded. Well, not suddenly – it seemed to happen in slow motion – so slow that we hardly noticed what was happening.

Let me back up. After our first big financial breakthrough in 2000, and after having enjoyed our new success for several years, we made some careless investment decisions. When we finally became completely conscious of the problem, we believed that we could “make” those bad decisions into good ones somehow just by “thinking right”.

A hard lesson I learned was that, sure, while it may be true that in every adversity there is a seed of equal or greater benefit, that doesn’t mean the adversity will go away with right thinking.

It only promises that something good can be born from it.

It seemed that no matter how much positive thinking I mustered, our situation refused to improve. It felt as though the principles were suspended on my behalf and it didn’t matter how well I lived what I had been teaching, none of it seemed to be working as it had in the past.

So as you can imagine, one of my biggest stresses was figuring out what to do with the business. My husband had long since left his job to help me with it. But now, what about my books? What about our websites and programs? If the principles really didn’t work any more, how could I possibly continue teaching them?

I wondered if it was time to just pull all the books from the bookstores and issue a public apology.  But, even as I fought my own demons, I continued to receive mail from readers all over the world who shared their success stories and profound gratitude for my work.  Ben Southall attained the World’s Best Job out of 34,000 applicants and credited my book for his success on a national news program. Publishers from other countries were asking for the rights to my book. Business owners were talking about how my programs had helped them multiply their revenues. Mothers shared stories of how they got the money they needed even after all appearances indicated it should have been impossible.

I read their expressions of gratitude and began to feel jealous of my readers’ successes. I began to feel like a pawn – an instrument in God’s hand, helping thousands of people achieve their dreams, but not being allowed to achieve MY dream, which was to just live a simple life enjoying my children and focusing 100% on my own little family.

Each time I seriously thought about quitting, I remembered those people and their stories. Simultaneously, I felt God telling me, “Keep teaching – you don’t make the principles true or false by how well you live them.”

Actually, we had quite a few arguments about that, God and I. But He always won. I’d throw my Felicity tantrum, and get bitter, rebellious and cynical. I’d try to ignore the needs of the business and just DECIDE to live the life I wanted. But then life always had a way of throwing me back into the work.

In my rebellious moments, I derived tremendous pleasure out of cleaning a toilet, or reorganizing a cupboard.  After all, that’s what normal people do, right? I just wanted to be normal. I wanted to let go of the pressure I felt to be a shining example of right thinking.

I can’t tell you how many times I logged into Facebook, sorely tempted to update my status with what I was really feeling.  I can be really good at sarcasm, but I also know how damaging it can be, so I resisted.

Over time, I began to learn new lessons. Deep, profound, clarifying insight into the same principles I had thought I understood before. My mind opened up and all the pain began to have purpose again. I began to write the Jackrabbit Factor sequel, Portal to Genius, to document what I was learning. We had new breakthroughs, and began to see our finances turning around. We had some of our best months we’d ever had, but still had a pretty deep hole to climb out of.

The final verdict was this: I knew the principles were true. I knew that things around me changed according to my thoughts and emotions. I knew that things went better when I lived with childlike faith, and took the time to “see” the outcome I really desired and answered the question: How would it really feel if…?

It’s just that sometimes I didn’t feel like doing it. I was tired. I was discouraged. I was impatient. I was embarrassed. Thinking right takes effort and intention, and frankly, sometimes it’s just plain easier NOT to do it.

Anyway, I really do need to get some sleep, but all this is leading up to why I had to drop off the map in May, and what’s happened since.  It’s actually very exciting. 🙂

So stay tuned… and g’nite!

Read the follow-up post here

Leslie Householder
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This Post Has 71 Comments

  1. Andrea Hughes

    Thank you for this, Leslie. I think that it is great to let us know that LIFE happens, even to people that know the principles. Living it still takes work. Thanks for being so real and approachable!

  2. April Gregory

    I love this entire blog post but the sentence that stands out for me the most is ….” you don’t make the principles true or false by how well you live them.” I’m so glad you’re still teaching this…..

    April Gregory

  3. Mark Andrew Beach

    Please leave the post on your blog. It is a very inspiring story, and I for one, would love to find out how it all turns out. I have no doubt it will be great for you and motivational for the rest of us. Thanks for all you do. I really think there may be another book/training/CD in all this.

  4. Rose Pellar

    Leave it up Leslie. This makes you real and it is good for people to know that you are. They are then able to relate to you even better. The world needs your stuff. Keep on giving it Leslie.

  5. Patti

    Leave it up. It shows how we ALL have to struggle and endure to the end. As we patiently learn new lessons, the new insight strengthens us. Thank you for being frank now that you are seeing some progress. If you had told us your thoughts this summer, we could all have drowned. Waiting til now shares that hope you were striving for and that we all want. Keep it UP!

  6. Liz

    Hey..well, I’m totally waiting for the rest of the story!@ 🙂 I have had some of the same desires, hey, I just want to be home with my kids, can’t I just forget about this “soul purpose” stuff and live my dream. I also was given the opportunity to see what I would do if I knew I was dying. I would give away my business and spend all the time I possibly could with my kids. Live like I’m dying” Quit biz, focus more on motherhood, swim with dolphins spend more time at the park and more time playing games and reading books with my kids. Guess what happened when I started to live that way? I was up at 3 am, 5 am, etc. with burning ideas I just had to share and get out there for others to see and my business (the one I had just given away) finally picked up. So my take away is that, for me, I get to focus where my deepest desires are, follow my intuition, share the message I was born to share and as long as I have things in place to receive, God really does bless my efforts when I put my time and energy into what I believe He wants most for me. I am excited to know your answers. 🙂

  7. Linda

    Hey? Can I “like” everyone’s comments??? … I just love reading what everyone has said… what an uplift for my day! Thanks!

  8. Mary Jo Wehniainen

    Hey Leslie!
    You and I haven’t connected in many years, but we have many things in common, including the journey we’ve taken. (I’m a Professional Success Coach with five kids … you have me beat by one! 🙂 Funny that I saw your note and read the post today … it was just about an hour ago that I actually read the sales page for one of my own twelve week courses I sold in 2007, http://www.CreatingMiraclesTogether.com . (I hadn’t read it in years!)
    When I read my own sales page, I realized how many amazing things have changed (in me) since then … although it’s been quite a journey. (sounds like yours) What I’ve learned is that GOD definitely has an amazing plan for us … and if we are a person who will have a great impact on others, it usually entails a period of great testing … when we realize very deeply that we’re not the one pulling the strings! 🙂 At first this might seem like it’s not a good thing .. but quite the contrary, it’s the most amazing, empowering thing of all … and kind of a “rite of passage” that we need to go through.
    I know that I am destined (probably like you) to affect millions of lives for the good … but there were some things in me that needed to get fixed first. You know the old verse about not being able to put new wine into old wineskins? My “wineskin” needed a bit of fixin’ first, before the wonderful new wine could be poured in.
    The good news is that there is a glorious light at the end of the tunnel … you just gotta trust the LORD’s plan is perfect! 🙂 “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail!”
    It’s an interesting and somewhat confusing reality … knowing that we do create our reality … but there really is someone else in charge~
    I’ve been where you are, and have come out the other side. It’s glorious … and oh, so worth it! If you’d ever like to chat briefly about it, I’d be honored, just let me know. I just friended you on fb!
    Many blessings, Mary Jo Wehniainen

  9. Linda

    Thanks Leslie! I love real! I think we all do! I can relate to just wanting to be the mom. Life is crazy. We are still in the pit, and I hate to jinx myself… but I would like to share, because I think you know how low we were, that my husband’s business has been increasing… I wonder sometimes, is it the principles? I wonder, because so often I am not keeping them perfectly. I’m still working on my ftmf course goal! It is good to know that even though we are not perfect, things can still work out. We just keep plugging away, willing to keep learning and growing. The greater the struggle the more glorious the triumph… thank you for your example!

  10. Bonnie Garcia

    thank you for your candor. People relate better to real people….we learn that it isn’t a ‘magical’ thinking panacea…that it takes diligence and intention and commitment and focus to keep us keeping on in our journey to wholeness. :^)

  11. Don P

    Thank you Leslie,
    I appreciate that you let your followers know that you are “real”.
    Your honesty and genuine approach is so encouraging and refreshing! It’s good to be reminded that all of us go through tough times and that we are not alone. Change is inevitable..The only constant is our God.
    God Bless You!
    Don P
    OneMansHeart.com

  12. Home School Coach

    “In my rebellious moments, I derived tremendous pleasure out of cleaning a toilet, or reorganizing a cupboard. After all, that’s what normal people do, right? I just wanted to be normal. I wanted to let go of the pressure I felt to be a shining example of right thinking.” This could be me talking. I get the whole “this is a darn lot of work and I am tired”. I have been thinking of dropping off the map myself and now I think I will just buck up and keep plugging along. Thanks for the real and raw. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that life is work and we should just get on with it. Warmly,
    Mary Ann

  13. Tom Crepeau

    What an authentic post! Don’t you dare take this down! It’s too real. People seem to think the stuff is easy, and this shows how difficult it often is. Thank you.

  14. Debbie Ditton

    Don’t pull your “raw” experience. We all live in the real world and regardless of “right thinking” life always follow the patterns you so skillfully teach. We will have ups and downs, adversity and pain, as part of this mortal experience and it is not always tied to our “thinking”. Satan and Heavenly Father both use these patterns, as well…

  15. Dexter

    Thank you for being so honest with yourself and with all of us. It’s important for everyone to realize that with success comes new challenges and adversity. God gives us the capacity to deal with what we need to deal with. Thanks for reminding us that not every single day will be a picnic and that we all have new mountains to climb after conquering old ones.

  16. Kristie Chiles

    I just want you to know that I have (ever since I read your book) seen the world through different eyes. I did not realize how many other’s peoples dreams and rabbits I had been chasing. I am now going to chase my own rabbit and your post has been Godly in timing. Thank you for your honesty. That “sells” people better on anything you have to say than anything else, and I truly appreciate it! Kristie

  17. Katie Vrajich

    Leave it! This is such a powerful thing to know that people actually work through this even once they know the laws. We are working through one of those right now, and it is HARD! It is also awesome, and I can see it other side. But the real part of this journey is priceless to understand.

  18. pepper

    Heya,
    It’s about bloody time some one got real and said how it is sometimes. It is hard, you get discouraged and there are some days where you just think “What The?”…. but that is how we move into a more real space of identifying truth. We can’t be ‘thinking right’ all the time. It’s not natural and doesn’t allow more truthful ideas to come through. I believe we learn from the good AND the bad. We need contrasts in our lives to be able to round out our experiences. Until the entire planet becomes aligned with higher principles of love we are all going to learn from these contrasts that enter our lives, and we use them to bring our beliefs back to a more honest place for us. Keep up your wonderful thinking, the good and bad. Because you’ll never know how far you’ve come until you can see the light even in the darkest places. Rock On!

  19. Brandi

    Thank you, Leslie! I appreciate your honesty. I often have demons of my own making me want to quit, and I’m so grateful to hear that I’m not alone. I agree that positive, right thinking is hard work. I’ve had to let go of the idea that I can be perfect all of the time. All I can do is do my best and God makes up the rest. Thank you for being the wonderful woman that you are. Love you!

    Brandi

  20. Blane Sheffield

    One of the things I’ve admired most about you over the years is your humble honesty. Most inspirational and motivational authors seem to only post those parts of themselves that reflects the “success” that they’ve attained and want to help you attain as well. If only such authors could realize that sometimes its good to speak to us from levels closer to where we feel we are at in our lives, identifying with our difficulties in the now, rather than the past which they have since overcome. You have always been so real and many of us truly connect with your message and teachings during those “raw and real” moments, as you call them. In moments like this, I wonder if you realize how much you teach and reach in those moments when you feel that you may not be. You are so awesomely appreciated and have affected so many lives with your teachings! I know I speak for many, thank you again for being the way you are, at the height of your success and in the moments when we learn that you too sometimes struggle with these powerful, life changing principles you teach.

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