Should we sell our home?

Today’s Question is about Real Estate:

“Should we sell our home?”

One of my readers sent me the following:

“We have enough equity in our house that if we sold it, we’d be almost completely out of debt. We’ve got 2 kids in college and 2 at home still, which makes downsizing a little tricky at this point. We’d probably have to rent an apartment for a year to save up for another down payment on a different home. Or buy a condo, and those can be difficult to sell.

We want the kids to have a place to stay when they come home for the summer, and if we were in a 3 bedroom apt or condo that wouldn’t be ideal. And yet, I REALLY want financial freedom. I REALLY want this burden GONE FOREVER.

My business has been struggling for years, and is actually the reason why we’re in this situation—I invested in marketing and trainings that didn’t convert, and got scammed by a business partner. Lots of adventures!

But I hear you loud and clear about being reactionary at this point. Any money the business brings in goes right to debt. I haven’t paid myself in close to a year. That sucks all the fun out of business! 🙂

Anyway, the question is: do we sell the home in the spring and rent for a while? What would you do?

..Thank you so much, Leslie! You’re one of the last people out there I actually trust. – A. C.

Here’s my reply:

That’s a tough question. I’d probably be tempted too, but we spent 6 years renting after the recession and I never realized how much of my mental energy was spent wondering, “Where are we going to be next year? Will the rent go up? Are we going to pay the higher rent or are we going to move again? What about the kids’ schoolwhat if we have to move too far? How are we going to save for a down payment fast enough to keep up with rising home prices?”

It was on my mind constantly. We ultimately bought another home and the difference it made in my ability to THINK, create, and serve again was HUGE.

That being said, who knows if the home prices are going to tank again in the near future, and getting the equity now might be super beneficial? It would be amazing to pay off the debts faster, and buy a home when they’re cheaper. Indeed, it could go really well in that regard, but it’s a BIG gamble. If you stay where you are and can get in front of things any other way, don’t take it for granted that you already have a home of your own. It’s a huge-er deal than you know.

I strongly recommend that you do a search in Dave Ramsey’s archives for “should I sell my home to pay off debt” and see what advice he offers in different scenarios. Additionally, here’s one article on the topic. Find the principle that applies to your situation from which to make your decision, then you can be at peace no matter which way the market goes.

She responded:

Thank you! I adore you! I appreciate your honesty so much. And when I get quiet in my mind, I realize that some of this feeling is impatience, which is NOT a principle of abundance! I’ll do a search on Dave Ramsey—that’s a great idea. Thank you again! 

To learn more about developing the right mindset for achieving your goals, visit www.ProspertheFamily.com

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Avoiding Debt-Payoff Self-Sabotage

Today’s Question comes from Allyson. She wanted to know:

“How do I visualize paying off debt, without creating a subconscious desire for MORE debt to pay off?”

In her words:

I’ve been listening to your Science of Getting Rich Program over the last couple of weeks and have a question for you.

This next year my husband and I want to create financial freedom, which to us looks like a zero balance on all the credit cards and everything paid off. What we’re bumping up against is we keep visualizing the victory with paying off credit cards, and we don’t want to train our mind into seeking more debt for that thrill of paying it off.

But financial freedom feels so esoteric to us that I am having a hard time pinning down an emotion associated with financial freedom. I’ve thought about what I want life to look like when there are no more debts, and it’s just that everything is normal, I feel secure and I sleep well every night, we are able to invest, and we’re able to pay a lot in tithing and fast offerings and so forth… but it doesn’t carry the emotional thrill that having zero debt has.

Can you help me reframe this, please? I KNOW we can create financial freedom this year. I want to make sure we’re not future sabotaging by the emotion we’re connecting to the visualization, or that we’re visualizing the wrong thing.

Thank you so much! – A.C.

Here’s my Answer:

One of the best pieces of advice I got on this was to spend energy picturing and planning the details of life “after”, and get excited about the feelings associated with normal life. But sometimes nothing else sounds quite as exciting, so I do get that it’s important to be emotionally invested in getting out of debt. I don’t know if this is necessarily the best way, but I’ll tell you how we finally did it. And I’m sorry, it’s kind of rambling without editing, so I hope it’s helpful:

We listened a lot to Dave Ramsey (which was painful at first, but eventually allowed us to get REALLY excited about being out of debt, WITH the new mindset that also kept us from sabotaging ourselves when the goal was achieved. It’s good medicine. Best of both worlds, in my opinion.

We first made a commitment to stop using credit to tide us over if we came up short in any given month. This commitment was before we tried to pay anything off, I think. It meant that we had to use “rare faith” a LOT. Every month, for a while in fact, until we started noticing that miracle after miracle, the principles were proving to be dependable, as long as we kept to the commitment and expected another miracle. …I had never realized what a shift in mentality that required for us, because we were coming from an “investing” mindset – using other people’s money to invest for high returns. (Which, we did really well at for a while, until we got caught in the recession and people couldn’t pay money that they owed us, and the dominoes began to really fall.)

We also had to get serious about budgeting. How on earth would we do that when our income was unpredictable?? We decided we’d just do our best. So it meant looking back over the year and coming up with average monthly dollar amounts for all the predictable expenses. We were barely making it with our business income, and when we came up short, I’d just run a promotion or something, so how do I budget when I’m so used to being reactionary to our needs? We got those monthly figures, and then decided on a monthly amount that the business had to make – so it meant setting up an automatic transfer from business to personal every two weeks.

This freaked me out at first because I thought, “Well, what if the business doesn’t make that much?” and “What if I don’t feel motivated to make more than the bi-monthly draw?” And the first month, it was patchy. I had to scramble to make enough before the transfer hit, which was new because I wasn’t scrambling to pay a bill, I was scrambling to pay myself.

Something about that helped with another mindset shift I needed – because I was scrambling to pay MYSELF instead of scrambling to pay a bill (even though the result was the same). I scrambled again to make enough in time for the second draw. And I didn’t really earn more than the bare minimum.

But after that first month, something felt different. I started working for the joy of it again, knowing that the draw would automatically cover my bills, and I found myself wondering how much more I could make, just for fun. Our financial planner told me to “Let the business account build up”, so no matter how much I generated, I was still only allowed to spend the fixed monthly budgeted amount. That was a new concept to me. (Because previously I was always just reacting to our needs.) So that’s what the budget did for me – it stopped me from thinking so much about bills, and helped me get back to just creating.

The next month I did really well, but still only received the fixed draw into my personal account. The business account started to grow and grow. THAT did a lot for my psyche. Out of the budgeted amount, certain amounts went to paying off bills, and as things started going better, I got a real charge out of paying off debts early. We started to get a bigger charge out of saving, too. This was a new experience for us. I made more rules for myself – like if I generated a certain amount of revenue by the end of the year, I’d give myself a bonus. Otherwise the money stayed in the business account, which was nice because then I had reserves I could use for investing more in my business – product, hired help, etc. It also made it so that the tax bill at the end of the year wasn’t a giant blow to our pocketbook – there was money saved and enough to cover the tax bill and to spare.

Anyway, we felt like step one had to be learning how to live with the new system of paying myself, and within these budgeting restrictions (something that ran counter to the “abundance mindset” – but again, it felt like necessary short-term medicine for our long-term wealth plan).

So the short answer is this. If you want to be really excited about paying off debt, you CAN. But keep it paired with a constant reminder of the principles that build a wise and solid foundation. Follow Dave’s Baby Steps. I used to think he was only about budgeting for people on limited incomes. But he’s more about wealth building – it’s just that too many people skip the steps that build a solid foundation, so that’s why he hammers that part so much. Too often I see people get caught up in the excitement about paying off debt without the education (and pants-kicking) that keeps them wise afterwards, and they get sucked back into the same problems over and over again. Pulling rabbits out of the hat to keep fixing debt problems does work, but it becomes exhausting.

So if your vision is a normal, peaceful, joyful abundant life, then submit yourself to Dave’s podcast (if you aren’t already listening to him). Like I said, it can be painful in the short term, but it’s really made all the difference for us in the longer term. It keeps us in check, and has really added to my ability to live the normal peaceful life I always wanted.

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#54: Dare to Dream

Looking for this? – Debra Woolley’s Graduation Spotlight is HERE

Podcast is below:

I waited 10 years to share this story.

This is the podcast I mentioned during my Facebook Live.

After experiencing success, then tremendous failure, I describe my family’s journey as we tried to put the pieces of our shattered life back together. I reveal details of what it took for us to dare to dream again, and the play-by-play results of my first major experiment meant to regain my confidence.

This audio was recorded at a live event called Master Creator by Eric Bailey, where I was a keynote guest speaker.

Resources mentioned on the audio:

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Dream Catcher

My sweet mother wrote and sent me a beautiful piece relating the rare faith principles to the wonders of a dream catcher. Enjoy:

Dream Catcher

I may not feel greatly gifted.
But as chaff in my life is thoroughly sifted,
I will rivet my mind and focus my time, as each step has been listed.
Providence proves, with the goal-thought set free, it does and will grow if only assisted.

Talent will come with what is defined, and realized with what is sought,
Unceasing effort will be refined; it will be such, but it’s always hard fought.
To complete, takes faith that what is needed will surely be brought.
And with these things, the ‘dream catcher’s web’, has freed the good thought.

And what is this dream catcher’s web? A filter for your mind!
With faith, with determination, what you allowed, you will find.
With effort unmeasured and talent refined,
You goal has been won, as it was defined!

Carolyn Barton Robertson ©2003

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Quotes from Recent Event

Here are the quotes I promised to share with those who attended the recent event. Enjoy!

M. Catherine Thomas:

“If you wish to feel the most penetrating power of the Spirit, try the experiment of giving thanks in the moment of disappointment, of tragedy, of the specter of ruin. When you are able to do it consistently, you will feel as though you have discovered and united with the mystery of life.”

William Hutchison Murray:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.

“All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:

‘Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!’”

Ella Wheeler Wilcox:

“There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.”

Wallace Wattles:

“There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe. A thought in this substance produces the thing that is imaged by the thought. A person can form things in his thought, and, by impressing his thought upon formless substance, can cause the thing he thinks about to be created.”

Leslie Householder:

“Expecting Success: It’s not a feeling of entitlement, but it IS a knowing. It’s not demanding, but it is allowing. Not needing, but anticipating. Not boastful, but grateful.”

Boyd K. Packer:

“There are two kinds of faith. One of them functions ordinarily in the life of every soul. It is the kind of faith born by experience; it gives us certainty that a new day will dawn, that spring will come, that growth will take place. It is the kind of faith that relates us with confidence to that which is scheduled to happen. …

There is another kind of faith, rare indeed. This is the kind of faith that causes things to happen. It is the kind of faith that is worthy and prepared and unyielding, and it calls forth things that otherwise would not be. It is the kind of faith that moves people. It is the kind of faith that sometimes moves things. …

“It comes by gradual growth. It is a marvelous, even a transcendent, power, a power as real and as invisible as electricity. Directed and channeled, it has great effect.” (Quote by Boyd K. Packer © By Intellectual Reserve, Inc., used with permission).

To learn more about the Mindset Mastery program, visit www.ProsperTheFamily.com

 

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