Best Mom Ever

There was a time in my life when things were very very different than they are now.  I was struggling mentally, emotionally, financially and everything in between.  I felt beaten down and broken.  And worst of all–I felt alone.  Completely alone.  My husband was gone 14-16 hours a day working on his PHD, I was left with 4 little kids and  multiple businesses to try and run.  I was failing miserably.  I couldn’t keep it together.  I would cry myself to sleep at night, and cry during the day while I was trying to work or make the kids lunch, or the laundry.   All I saw were dirty dishes and socks on the floor, piles of paper and half eaten sandwiches.  I saw all the unread emails, unanswered phone calls and stacks of bills.   

There was one day when I was really low–and it was those times that hid in my closet.  I was praying and pouring my heart out to God…asking Him why He had left us…and asking us when it would get better.  And I had this thought come to my mind…Be Still, and know that I am God.  

I took a breath…I wiped my tears…I got out my journal…and started writing down all the things I was grateful for.  My warm house, my beautiful children (who forgave me time and time again), dishes we could eat on, socks that my son could wear, bread to eat, a pillow to lay my head on.   

And that was it.  I didn’t have the strength to write anymore.  I put the journal away and went downstairs to where my kids were.  I plopped down on the couch and we all circled in and hugged.  Then my 5 year old daughter, Cici said…”You know what mom?  You are the BEST MOM EVER! I love how you sing me a song before I go to sleep.  Can you do that again tonight?  PLEASE?”

I almost lost it, my bottom lip quivered… “yes sweetie.”  Then my 10 year old daughter, Kyrah got up and said, hey mom, how about I make dinner tonight!  It’ll be fun!  I can make mac n cheese :)”  I told her thank you so much!  Trying not to cry.

In that moment I remembered God’s Law of Polarity…everything has an opposite.  A bad situation is equally good.  Which means that the more that you look for the good, the more good will be on it’s way.  And because I spent just a few minutes writing down in my journal what was good in my life…more good came to me.  Because that is what I was focused on!  When I was focused on the dirty dishes and piles of bills and everything that was wrong…the more of it I found.  But when I changed my thinking I was able to change what was drawn to me.  My child letting me know that her mom had a decent singing voice, and my other child offering to help cook dinner.  The more you look for the good in what may seem like a bad situation, the more you will find the good.  So focus on the good and more good will come to you!

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