So THIS is Marriage…

By Kristi Steidley

When I first married my husband, I said to him several times, “so, this is what marriage really feels like.” I knew where he was every night -sleeping beside me in our bed. We had combined financial accounts. We lived together. We planned dates and vacations together. We spent time together and enjoyed being together. We created a family together. We took our marriage covenants seriously. 

Even though I had been married before, I was experiencing what marriage really was for the first time. As much as I struggled in my first marriage, I always knew things could be worse. I didn’t know at the time I was applying the law of relativity, but many times I would remind myself how blessed I was for wonderful parents and siblings. I gained a whole new appreciation for my family. 

My parents and both sets of grandparents were wonderful examples of married couples who love and respect one another. I often wondered if I’d ever feel the kind of love they did. I knew it was possible. I also knew that even if I was stuck in a failing marriage for the rest of my life, at least I had the love and support of family. I felt sad for anyone in a difficult relationship who didn’t have family members praying and fasting for them. I at least had that.

I continue to apply the law of relativity in my current marriage. I feel so blessed every day for my husband. I am careful not to compare -there is no comparison between the two- but I know first-hand it can be worse. Anytime we have a disagreement, I am reminded of the commitment we made to one another. I know even if we don’t understand or agree on things, we still love each other. We are still committed to our relationship. 

Although I would never wish to relive the days of my first marriage, I am so very grateful for what I learned from that experience. I still, after 12 years of marriage, express gratitude that my husband sleeps in bed with me. That is something many married couples might take for granted, but it is so meaningful to me. 

I feel as though I am living a whole different life. I was living a nightmare for many years. That nightmare was very unpleasant, but I knew it could’ve been much worse. I was unaware of the application I gave to the law of relativity, but I knew I had angels assisting me. I enjoy many blessings today because I was able to recognize my rock bottom could’ve been even further down than it was. 

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