#16: How to Surrender (and why you’d want to)

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With effective goal achievement, there comes a point where it’s time to “let go”, or “surrender”, because if you try to force it, your persistence can backfire. This podcast is an excerpt from a personal coaching call with me and my client, who graciously allowed this to be made public so that it can help others who have similar questions.

My client had seen God’s hand in her life before, and acknowledged that He has ensured her needs have been met many times. But she worried:

What if this is the first time it doesn’t work out?
What if I’ve used up all the grace tickets?
What if I just keep busting myself up against the laws?
What if everything that matters to me falls apart?

Discover the answer to these questions and many more in this episode of the Rare Faith Podcast.

Related: Human Empowerment in Perspective


Announcer: Welcome to the Rare Faith Podcast, where the solution to every problem is only an idea away. Where the same activity with just a little more awareness always yields better results. Award-winning, best-selling author Leslie householder, brings some of her best information to this inspiring series of life-changing episodes that you won’t want to miss. Show notes for this episode can be found at ARareKindofFaith.com.

Leslie: Well, you had, you had talked about how you see how God has taken care of you and you’re just wondering what if this is the one time that it doesn’t work out.

Female speaker: Yeah,I mean, I know this isn’t true. I know that he doesn’t operate this way and yet you know there’s still this fear of like, what if I have used up all the allowances that, all of the grace tickets that were allotted to me. And I guess I think of that in terms of just the laws to how when we’re not working with them we’re breaking ourselves against them and so it’s not like I have this vision of him saying nope last ticket. Sorry, used up but more just like nope, you keep busting yourself against these laws and there’s nothing I can do to help you.

Leslie: Maybe describe to me what if, what if you’ve used them up; what’s on the other side of that? What if you used up all the chances and His mercy’s run out and there’s no more grace. Let’s go there.

Female speaker: Okay, I’m willing.

Leslie: Let’s go there. Because your subconscious mind is going to continually be asking that. It’s job is to keep you safe and alive right? If it’s constantly saying all right I perceive danger that is threatening your very existence and it’s my job to not let that happen so I have a question for you what if you’re out of grace? What if you’ve used it up? What if there’s nothing left for you then what? Well we’re trying so hard to keep our thoughts in faith and in expectation and all those positive things we’re trying to live the laws of thought but that subconscious is constantly, constantly nagging you on that and all it needs is an answer.

Female speaker: right

Leslie: … once it has an answer what if, then it shuts up…so let’s go there…

Female speaker: So that’s an interesting question because death to me isn’t the worst case scenario. Death is not the worst case scenario.

Leslie: Right. Sometimes it looks like it would a merciful thing right?

Female speaker: Yeah, totally. Let’s just let everybody off the hook. I totally am with you on that. So death isn’t the worst case scenario to me. So when I imagine okay worst case I lose everything and I in a tent like literally this is what I imagine, living in a tent on somebody’s property that’s letting me live there out of charity. And the worst part about that is that the worst case scenario would be my husband would leave me because of all the stupid mistakes I’ve made. That to me is the scariest part of that. But even then, when I imagine myself living in a tent all by myself on somebody’s property, there’s this little part of me it’s like I can do that. That doesn’t scare me. You know that sounds like adventure to me, which I know it wouldn’t be, real quick when winter hits so that to me doesn’t scare me as much as what hell I would have to go through to get to that point.

Leslie: Oh okay, yeah yeah

Female speaker: How long would I fight it? How long would I try to save it? All that crap that I put myself through to keep from getting there, even though there isn’t really that scary?

Leslie: That makes so much sense. That makes so much sense. Wow! Hang on a second, hang on a second. I need to digest that.

Female speaker: okay

Leslie: …to digest that.

Female speaker: okay

Leslie: It’s almost like I’m not afraid of being in heaven I just don’t want to go through death.

Female speaker: Yeah. Yeah. I don’t want to be resistant to it in a way that causes me to suffer longer than necessary or other people in my life to suffer. When I talk about that I feel that there’s some sort of connection to that and my ability to surrender; completely surrender my labor’s, my ideas, my everything over to God so that he can guide me in a way that’s less suffering.

Leslie: Right, right.

Female speaker: I feel like there’s some sort of connection there but I’m not sure where.

Leslie: Tell me about your husband.

Female speaker: He’s awesome. These laws, for example, the laws that you talk about. Those are just something that course through his veins. He doesn’t break himself against anything and he doesn’t resist the way that I feel like I am and he just kind of lives more peacefully because he doesn’t fight against things. He doesn’t have very much patience for my pity party like what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I figure this out? And he’ll be like you know what to do figure it out. But the thing of it is let’s say I did just up and say here you go. They’re yours. Declare bankruptcy or pay them. I can’t do it. You know there would be a lot of resentment there I think for a long time. I think it would be hard. And that’s the worst feeling. In our relationship, I don’t know how it is for everybody else, but that resentment is the worst.
Leslie: So that’s scarier than living in a tent.

Female speaker: Totally. Without question. Living in the same exact scenario we’re in now, but passing each other in the hall and not even making eye contact because the resentment. And it’s happened here and there over other things, little two or three day little tiffs, you know and then we we get to a better place of clarity afterwards so I know what the feeling feels like. It’s not just in my imagination. We’ve done it and it’s hell.
It’s the worst.

Leslie: And what about your kids? Is there anything about what your kids would think or do that contributes to the fear of what would happen if it fell apart; if you’d run out of God’s help?

Female speaker: It feels like a cold rock in my belly, is that my younger daughter, we’ve given her
a budget for her wedding which feels like a lot to come up with but it’s pretty low by wedding budget standards.
And she’s really sweet about it but, at the same time she hears other people go like that’s it? That’s all your parents are giving you? So she kinda has a conflict in their mind of is it going to work? Are we gonna be able to make it happen with just that? So it’s like she’s getting all this information and it’s creating fear in her heart and I feel sort of ill-equipped to assure her because even the budget we’ve given her I’m not sure how we’re going to come up with it. I don’t say we can’t afford for all my life I’ve just felt like that’s not language I want to use. But I’ll say things like well, I don’t think that’s what we’re going to put our money.

Leslie: One guy I heard was getting his daughter’s wedding ready and and he’s like this goes against everything I’m about, you know because his wife was all into the big wedding and they could afford it. He’s like, see if they can stay married for 20 years and then we’ll throw the party.

Female speaker: Right. No kidding. No kidding . You know this is a budget that feels doable and I said I have no idea where it’s going to come from, but I’m just going on faith that we’re going to figure it out. You know, and so she knows what that means. You know that’s a conversation that’s familiar our family like we’re going to be logical about what we’re shooting towards even if we have no idea where it’s going to come from and then we’re just going to keep our minds open and our feet moving and make it work. They know that our budget is limited and that’s that. And I I’m trying not to hate that. I’m trying not to hate that it’s limited.

Leslie: Okay, so let’s shift gears a little bit. So back to this surrender. The idea that surrendering might mean surrendering to everything scary that you’re trying to avoid and that you know you can avoid if you just figure this out. Right, so I was talking to this other person who was just numb from trying and things not going the way they felt like it needed to go and just to the point of can’t feel anything anymore you know what I mean?

Female speaker: mm-huh

Leslie: you’ve ever been there?

Female speaker: Yep

Leslie: I said there comes a point where you can’t let go on purpose anymore. Tried, it didn’t work. You’re afraid to give up because you don’t know what might happen if you do. You don’t dare stop fighting because it’s terrifying to think about what it might look like to let the enemy win. He said, I’ve hit that point maybe three or four times over my 45 years. Devastating moments, utter exhaustion, a most broken admission to God that I am so sorry. I don’t know if I’m going to make it. It was a terrifying thought with final and feeble cry for mercy, unexpectedly, not by my faith, I assure you. Immediately, and shockingly the dark feelings disappeared. He let me get to the very precipice, and then rescued me as soon as I realized that I had no power to fix it. I needed his power and he wanted me to know that. So letting go means something a little different to me now. Letting go means becoming fully and 100% conscious of our nothingness and inability to fix it. And thinking of God with whatever sliver of hope still remains. It’s giving up on trying, in a way. It’s finding out that you can keep trying to the ends of the earth, and it will never be good enough. We’ve been taught that we are supposed to do all we can do, and then God makes up the difference. But I think it’s a misunderstood principle. Most of us can’t figure out how to give it to God until we find out how incapable we are on our own, and we only figure it out after we have tried everything first. It’s so hard to put into words that I told you all this to tell you this, if your heart belongs to God, and it does, then the best thing you can do right now is to give up and surrender it all. Lean in and let him hold you. Whatever is to become of you just give it to him. Just be with him. Stop trying. Let yourself give up in his arms for as long as you need to be there. Be broken. Feel his compassion for you. There’s nothing to fix. Nothing to change. Just be with him. He loves you with all of his heart and he just waits for you to let him heal your heart with His perfect love. Give up, not to the enemy, but to God. It’s going to be okay. He won’t let go of you. Just feel that. And for tonight tomorrow for a few weeks or even months if necessary. I said I’ve been there a few times in my life for different reasons but each time the rescue, the release, the repair, only began after I was just about to give up in the way I’ve tried to describe. And I share it because I believe there is a true principle in it. Joseph Smith experienced the same pattern in the sacred grove. It says that “exerting all my powers to call upon God to deliver me out of the power of this enemy which had seized upon me and at the very moment when I was ready to sink into despair and abandon myself to destruction, not to an imaginary ruin but to the power of some actual being from the unseen world who had such marvelous powers I had never before felt in any being, just that this moment of great alarm that’s when I saw pillar of light exactly over my head.” The rescue came at the point when he was ready to sink and despair and abandon himself to destruction. Those words exactly describe the feeling I felt right before the rescue. I’d actually never thought of it before that parallel. I found another example of the pattern and he said come and when Peter was come down out of ship he walked on the water which by rare faith he did that amazing thing he walked on water to go to Jesus but when he saw the wind boisterous he was afraid and beginning to sink, so in other words, after finding himself at the end of his faith, he cried saying lord save me and immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand and caught him. There’s another one in Mosiah 27 “Nevertheless after wading through much tribulation nigh unto death, the Lord in His mercy had seen fit to snatch me out of an everlasting burning”. He was snatched at the very moment that he was nigh unto death or ready to sink into despair and abandon himself to destructionl. It says I was in the darkest abyss but now I behold the marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment that I am snatched and my soul is pained no more. All of these examples show a pattern of giving up. You don’t hear about that in the world of personal development do you?

Female speaker: No. Mm-mm. ???????? to surrender which is not the same.

Leslie: You know it’s confusing because surrender doesn’t mean do nothing. Until after you’ve done everything and it didn’t work then you surrender to whatever is going to become of me it doesn’t matter anymore it’s up to God and it’s when we let go, when we finally realize that you know what I am limited and sometimes that mercy, that rescue, the miracle, sometimes those don’t show up until we’ve given it everything we’ve got and we realize God is still God and I need him. I need a miracle from him not from my mindset, not from this or that not from how amazing I am to create things. He lets us experiment with that because they are true principles he lets us discover the power we have in us that he’s very quick to make sure we remember who he is.

Female speaker: Well I feel like that at the heart of all my struggles that I could assign different topics to. You know I could say oh this is my money struggle this is my body struggle, whatever but I feel like the common
thread and all of that is I want to be one of those people that wakes up in the morning and says okay tell me what to do today. You know I want to be led I don’t want to be imposing my agenda on everything all the time I want to be acting on ideas with total faith and in all that and there’s this point that I took your course. One of the lessons there was talking about rock-bottom and how you can choose your rock bottom and I don’t know if it was just my limited understanding at the time or there’s more to it or what, but I feel like, I feel like I’ve chosen my rock bottom. How come nothing is shifting? You know like I want this to be my rock bottom more than anything I want to be able to completely surrender, just to completely surrender because I know even though my mind games say that my grace cards are maybe getting used up, I know that the real truth is there is no such thing there’s no such thing as a tally and I’ve witnessed it in people’s lives. When I really dissect my own life I see yep God always rescues me right at the end; literally the bill is due today and oh good I made a sale cause today you know kind of a thing. And then I feel stuck. I feel stuck at my ability to truly surrender because I think okay this is my rock-bottom I surrender it couldn’t get bleaker. I couldn’t feel more on the precipice more numb more whatever and yet the relief doesn’t really come. And so I say OK, I guess I haven’t really surrendered.

Leslie: What if…here’s my question. What if we look at this a little differently? I know you talked about your ideal life vision and you said you want to update that. But with or without that, you probably have a pretty good idea of how you’d like to feel in life…right?

Female speaker: Yeah. Right. Yes without question as clear as day to me

Leslie: So that’s clear. Now

Female speaker: Yeah

Leslie: Here’s the question: What kind of a time frame do you want or expect that to be accomplished realistically when do you …

Female speaker: By now.

Leslie: Okay, now okay, we’re onto something

Female speaker: By now I should have been there by now.

Leslie: We’re onto something. Here we are. I think I know where this is so, letting go and surrendering, is not surrendering to never having the nickel, okay I think with what your experience has been, what I see you holding on to, is the when. It’s all about the when…

Female speaker: w-h-e-n?

Leslie: uh-huh

Female speaker: Okay

Leslie: Think about that for a second.

Female speaker: Yeah and I know that’s tied into the blessing. The curse of my pattern is I digested a lot of self-development material. I’ve recently said forget it. I just need a dumb novel. And I’ve listened to some good novels as a result. You know, just like stop fighting you know I need you to stop trying so hard and and just give myself a break. I know what I need to know. I’m just trusting that I know what I need to know and that what I don’t know that I need to know is God’s business. The common thread for so long and what I keep picking up and things is are you willing to receive are you going to love yourself enough to be willing to receive. All the abundance God has been holding in trust for you, and I say this kind of like snarky, but it’s just been a very heavy thing. Like okay my job is to be willing to receive, so I’ve been beating myself up in a way about my inability to receive because I do believe that God has been holding all these blessings in Trust for me not like waiting for me to be worthy to receive them but just whatever has to change for me to be able to receive them and that’s what I don’t know.

Leslie: The way you know you can feel the blessings you know that are there for you, would you be okay if you want them in February of 2017 but God’s got it lined up to be its greatest version in say March of 2021. What if march of 2021 is the gestation for what you seek, and all along the way, it’s in process and he’s eager to give it to you but if it gives it to you too soon it’s like a fetus instead of a baby. What if? What if what you’re seeking is a few years down the road? How do you feel when I say that?

Female speaker: There’s this part of me that’s like well if I can be guaranteed that then I can totally hang in there. Like it’s like my first thought was like when I was in labor with my daughters literally, the only thing that kept me going was knowing that it would end. It was guaranteed. And I feel like I can
endure anything if I know it’s going to end soon. You know like if I know

Leslie: Right

Female speaker: It’s going to end soon. And you know I’m not afraid of physical pain because I know it’s going to end soon. I’m not afraid of emotional pain in certain situations because they’re going to end soon. And a lot of taht is tied into my talents that God gave me. Like what am I supposed to do with those maybe they’re not world-changing like people tell me they are. I’ve got dear friends that will talk to me about you just need to get out of your own way and you’re going to like move mountains and it’s like what does that even mean anymore. Like anymore when people say that to me I just want to put tape over their mouth because like what does that even mean?

Leslie: And I’m afraid that the questions I’m asking you and posing aren’t making you feel very good, but I have a purpose there’s a method to the madness here…

Female speaker: I trust that and I’m totally okay with it I totally trust that yeah

Leslie: So here’s what I want to know is what if that vision that you know is in your future it’s, there’s not a question of if it’s going to happen. I have no question that it’s going to happen there’s no doubt in my mind that it’s going to happen. I see the Lord working in your life and the struggles are not for nothing. They are very carefully designed and custom-made for you and I’ve seen enough of this confusion and despair on the front side of amazing changes so I’m not worried about where this is going for you.

Female speaker: Whew. I’m glad one of us is there. I will lean on your faith until I have enough of my own.

Leslie: Okay. Okay. But here’s the other question if that outcome, that is inevitable. It’s inevitable. He doesn’t give these kinds of dreams, I mean, you could go back and count all the times that He has blessed your life to the path that you’re on right?

Female speaker: Yes. Yes.

Leslie: That was no accident.

Female speaker: For sure.

Leslie: There’s no accident.

Female speaker: A lot of things just came naturally and easily and by way of just the right phone call at the right time or you know so yeah, absolutely.

Leslie: Right. Okay so you recognize it’s been there before. Lean on my confidence that it’s there now and going to be there for you all along the way. So say we pass on you know we’re old people we die and we’re talking about what earth life was like for us. All right you and me hanging out in heaven saying man, do you remember those days when…?

Female speaker: Super hard

Leslie: That was hard! Man that was hard!

Female speaker: So hard. Oh my gosh.

Leslie: I can’t believe how hard that was. So we will sit in a garden somewhere and have that conversation it’ll be fun.

Female speaker: Okay

Leslie: And so imagine that we’re talking about that and you say and I had no idea that it was going to be another 15 years at that point but oh my heck, I wouldn’t have had it any other way now that I know what I know. Imagine that’s our conversation. I’m not going to say that’s what it will be, but imagine if it were. If you knew that that life you’re working towards is 15 years from now, what would you do with today? How would you… how would you approach today?

Female speaker: My first thought is to just take care of what’s right in front of me to not let the whole elephant on my chest kill me but just today I’m doing this thing. Today I’m just one foot in front of the other I think is the best I know how to answer right now.

Leslie: Imagine yourself doing that today. Picture today what you’re going to do today. Close your eyes and just be quiet for a minute while you imagine yourself doing today’s tasks with an understanding that it’s going to happen in about 15 years so. Fill yourself doing today’s duties with a different feeling.

Female speaker: You know I notice that the uptightness backs way off. Like, like, there’s no point in being uptight because it’s just going to take the time it takes.

Leslie: Right

Female speaker: it feels like relief you know?

Leslie: Exactly it’s surrendering. You’ve surrendered to 15 years. Do you feel that?

Female speaker: Yeah. and I know that a lot of my peace in my life and my relationships has more to do with how uptight I am, than it actually does with what bills are in front of me.

Leslie: Exactly! Exactly! And have you noticed that things go better, when you’re there?

Female speaker: Yeah, a lot. And even if they go the same as they were going to go when I was uptight they feel better.

Leslie: It’s still better. Exactly. Exactly. And so if you surrender to the 15 year plan it causes you to live in peace now, and because you live in peace now things go better and opportunities come to you better and you feel happier and all of those things and you may find out that what you were surrendered to the 15 year plan you find out maybe two years from now, look what happened! Oh my gosh it didn’t take 15 it only took two but it’s because of my letting go. I let go. God knows what you want and he knows when you want it and he knows you need it. He knows you need it last week, all of that in His is He’s the manager of the universe. You know he gets it. And so by leaning in on letting Him worry about the details and knowing that I don’t have to hold this vision all the time and feel it all the time. I planted the seed. You can plant it once. Plant it once. Feel it once. Be grateful for it once. And then just go about your life with the 15 year plan in mind. And you’re going to find yourself getting more done. You’re going to feel better. Everybody around you is going to be happy. You’re going to attract more clients. Everything’s going to go better because you let go. That’s what letting go looks like.

Female speaker: Hmm hmmm. That’s like I’m most connected I have ever felt to letting go without it feeling like a fight.

Leslie: Yeah

Female speaker: This is a part of this conversation, you know. Trusting that that I know what to do; trusting that God’s gonna guide me; trusting that he’s not going to let me screw it up too bad; just all the versions of trust. Oh no how is this going to work out? What if it doesn’t, it’s me you know? The credit card company’s going to call me. Just all that stuff. It feels like I need to give more of my heart to and envisioning how I want things to feel. Every money thing I want to get paid off is because I want to feel freedom. The feelings that I want to feel are what I’m chasing you know, when I’m chasing something and working hard. How can I feel that right now you know? How could I feel that freedom right now? Does surrender include working on like intentionally and consciously working on the vision statement or even vision in my head or do I even just let that go?

Leslie: When you’re not sure what to think, you never go wrong by imagining yourself in heaven looking back on life, and reminiscing about those days. It kind of keeps things in perspective, and you’re probably not likely going to think back on how hard it was feeling the same horror that you felt in it. Thinking back on terror and horror is different than experiencing it right?

Female speaker: Yeah totally

Leslie: And so thinking back on it with relief, thinking back on it with awe and amazement at what came out of it and why that was so good. You know the law of polarity. That felt awful but look! It was all made up for. Oh my goodness you know or even if you don’t want to think about being in heaven you could be thinking about 15 years from now and we figured it out look at what we got through look what we learned look at where we’re at imagining the relief of it more than imagining the receiving the money you needed?

Female speaker: Right

Leslie: When I have people do their goal statements at the midterm at first it’s I’m so happy and grateful now that I have received X Y or Z or now that we have this house or whatever. But part two is, all right you’re on the last day of your life looking back on all of that what really mattered? How do you feel about what you accomplished and it’s past tense? You know goals being in present tense are one thing that goals in past tense are so powerful.

Female speaker: Right

Leslie: …so powerful. Because you can live the relief right now. And another reason I like to project out, and I just pick 15 out of the blue. When Trevor and I did this, we picked 10, you know. Ok, so we are at the end of all of our money. We have no room left on our credit cards at all. We’re shuffling balances where you know there’s nothing left, and we’ve got about $200 in the bank, and we’ve got to come up with $15,000 in about two weeks, and we have to do that every month, every month, every month. And we’re like, we are in such a mess. I have no clue how we’re going to get through this week or this month. I’ve no clue…

Female speaker: Right. And oh by the way, we still need to eat and put gas in our car…

Leslie: Yeah. Right. Right, but when that was it for two years prior, I had been worried about what happens if I ever get to that day? What happens if I ever get to where we have nothing? Because we kept being creative you know?

Female speaker: Right. Right. And always wiggling your way out of it.

Leslie: mm-hmm and so I thought, what happens if we get to the end of that, and I was terrified, but I kept pushing it away and pushing it away, until one of my mentors said, for crying out loud, answer the question! And so we did this. We went out together and we’re like, all right, we don’t know how we’re going to get through this month. We don’t know if we’re going to lose everything. We literally even talked about, you know, we may end up living out of the car with our seven children. Good thing we had a van right? And I thought, all right, do you think we’ll have it figured out in 10 years? Of course we’ll have it figured out in 10 years. I mean, that was like, easy…

Female speaker: Yeah

Leslie: Right? It’s easy to think we’ll have it figured out by then. Okay, what will we be doing in 10 years? So we kind of painted a picture of what that well, so let’s see how old will our kid’s be? This one will be doing this, and that, and that. Okay, so if that’s what’s going on, where will we be living? Oh, probably in a place like this, or whatever. And what will we be doing? Will we still be teaching? Well, that’s what we feel like we’re here to do, is teach. So even if we’re teaching out of our car, yeah, we’ll have it figured out. And we changed the way we felt in that moment; going from utter despondency and seriously there is nothing left to do. You know? – to getting excited about 10 years from now. And you know the story you’ve heard it before. That’s when the manager at the restaurant said, by the way, your meals on us…

Female speaker: Right

Leslie: …we hadn’t expected it and it’s really kind of fun and cool to look back on those 10 years now and see how he, like you know, he shows up but he shows up when we are not in fear. It is by our faith that miracles are wrought and we need a miracle every day every day. And so the best thing you can do is to let go, get your head comfortable and okay with a 15 year plan it might be hell between here and there, but I’m going to just trust in a longer-term plan because it keeps me out of anxiety. And if that’s the only reason it’s enough of a reason. And then some things that helped us, we started listening to Dave Ramsey because he’s all about long-term and we needed to get out of this immediate… you know tripled our income in three months. Yes those things happen but we also have to live by the principles of the harvest, which take time. And so we needed a mentor to start filling our head with a mindset that is okay with…

Female speaker: long-term

Leslie: …slower processes

Female speaker: Right Right

Leslie: Because, honestly when I look on Facebook at people having big quick success, hyping it up and all this stuff, you know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking that is awesome! But I know that life is not all about just winning and success it’s about growth and so pride cometh before the fall. And it’s almost predictable that anybody who’s got this quick success if they have not established long term, long term vision type habits they will fall. And so learning those long term habits, and Dave Ramsey is so good even if all it is is listening to a podcast every day you know it starts getting you chilled out about the immediate. It helps you see the mountain that’s in front of you but it helps you tackle it at a pace that is reasonable.

Female speaker: Right

Leslie: And then as you stay in the Rare Faith mindset you’ll see miracles along the way that help you get rid of this bill, sometimes in a big chunk because you’re intentional and because you’re in a good space and you’re ready for the long haul. You know I hear about these people who dug out of $200,000 of student loans. Oh their victory call is so inspiring. And what they did to do it, it’s just inspiring. It’s a different kind of inspiring than here’s what you can do for a quick buck because it didn’t change anybody’s habits.

Female speaker: Right. Right. In the last two years I’ve invested in different business coaching, which on one hand, I don’t regret because I’ve learned a lot of really smart things. On the other hand hit’s been all about money now. Here, do a launch. If you’re not getting six figures in your launch and so then fatigue is the word that comes to mind. Just the hustle, the hustle fatigue is its strong. I’m okay with, at this point, I would be okay with just making a steady lower monthly income. Like I’ve surrendered the big five figure launch. I just need to know that I can pay the next three months bills; that I’ve got something in place where I can do that. So okay what am I going to do today one of my life mantras is nothing is wasted unless you waste it. And just because these coaching programs weren’t what I thought they were going to be or weren’t what I actually needed them to be, doesn’t mean that they were a waste of money. I don’t want them to be a waste of money I still want to mine them for anything useful for me and…

Leslie: Exactly

Female speaker: But boy it takes effort to not feel like I was scammed you know?

Leslie: And when we were scrambling to stay in front of everything you know we were learning these things and that next month we made forty four thousand dollars it was a big deal but, honestly, the hustle we had to do to make that work I don’t ever want to do that again.

Female speaker: Yeah

Leslie: I don’t want to.

Female speaker: This is not going to work. This is not the wife I want to be; the mom I want to be; the dog owner I want to be. Like you know physically, just it’s taken my body down ??? it’s not going to work.

Leslie: So the next goal, the next goal really is to find that rhythm where you have a partnership with God; where you know, you know and he’s proven it to you over and over and over again that you have sufficient for your needs and you’re inspired to create and serve and you’re full of love for those around you and you have time for them. And as you’re here doing that, that he keeps lining up the customers for you. That he keeps lining up the inspiration for you, and all of these things. And as you figure this out you are going to be an inspiration to a lot of people who are two steps behind you trying to figure it out and so he has every reason to help you succeed at this. And success not meaning billion dollars in the bank or a fancy house it’s I’ve learned to let go.

Female speaker: That would feel so good. It feels so so good.

Leslie: And it’s something you can practice every day. And every time you start feeling that anxiety two things, remember you’re on a 15 year plan or you pick the number, whatever. However far you have to go out to know oh, surely I’ll have it figured out by then.

Female speaker: Right

Leslie: You know, whatever that is, it might be six months. Who knows? Just however long you feel like you know definitely I’ll have it figured out by then. That’s one. And number two don’t be afraid don’t be afraid to find out exactly where you’re at, and listen to Dave Ramsey and come up with a plan. I love … I don’t know do you ever listen to him?

Female speaker: I have, not consistently, but I have off and on over the years and I really have gleaned a lot and I think my favorite thing I’ve ever gleaned from him is the snowball. I don’t know if he calls it that still or he did at one point…

Leslie: Yeah, he does.

Female speaker: … the snowball debt payment. And I’ve seen the power of it and I’ve even used it back when I had some debt between a couple of different cards like I was losing sleep over it. And then now I’m like man, I wish I only had that much you know like…

Leslie: Yeah

Female speaker: It was like 15 years ago. So yeah I could start listening to him more I forget.

Leslie: well between Dave Ramsey and KLove Radio

Female speaker: yeah

Leslie: I feel like, I feel like I’m a born again Christian evangelist. I mean it’s it’s yes really … but I have gained so much daily positivity and encouragement that feels different to me now, that I feel like I’m relying on God more than I used to get listening to the success mentors.

Female speaker: Right

Leslie: They’re positive. They are positive, but there’s a different kind of positivity that comes through Dave Ramsey and KLove radio that keeps me grounded and keeps me relying on God and fills me with love and hope and it makes me a better mom. It gives me better patience with my own goals. It’s taught me how to let go. I’ve only started listening to KLove radio for probably the last six months. I used to get in my car and I’m like, I was never organized enough to get CDs in there of my favorite tunes and I didn’t write I do it on my phone without eating up all my storage.

Female speaker: Right

Leslie: and I was flipping through and and then suddenly I’m like okay some of these feel really cheesy to me but I started listening more and more and more. I’m like oh my gosh these are so inspired and it has kept me in a place of faith more consistently than I have ever been that I can remember. Like, oh man I got to share that.

Female speaker: yeah even if nobody knows my name and I never write that best-selling book that’s been pecking at back in my mind since I was four like, if I could just have lunch out with my girls a couple of times a month without feeling rushed or stressed you know ease…

Leslie: Yeah and you will that doesn’t have to be fifteen years away. That can be this week. That could be today. That could be that’s right there.

Female speaker: One thing that’s been carrying me through when I’m feeling like in that rock bottom. I mean I don’t mean to sound like I’m a hero worshipping you, but the way you present these principles, it’s exactly what I need. It’s that whole package of law of attraction versus let God do all the work. Like it’s that like perfect hybrid that I need for my soul to be satisfied with the guidance and stuff that …. I appreciate any little lifeboat, little dinghy I can hang on to for faith because I definitely feel like I’m more often than not, I’m Peter gulping on water that’s lapping over my face and I’m not asking to be rescued the right way.

Leslie: When you think about what he must have felt when he finally called out for help I mean he’s doing it on his own and he’s doing something amazing because of his faith that was real fear. Real fear. Unembarrassed cry out for help I mean he wasn’t gonna worry about what anybody thinks because he’s gotten past that part …

Female speaker: Yeah

Leslie: … he is beyond caring what anybody thinks.

Female speaker: There’s not time for that in this moment. Yeah, well, I feel so much more peace right now than I have felt in a long time thank you for that.

Leslie: Good

Female speaker: Awesome thank you so much for this. I really appreciate it and I’m excited for Genius Bootcamp.

Leslie: I’m so excited for you to go.

Female speaker: I have faith that’s gonna work out somehow.
It’s going to work out so thank you.

Leslie: Have a great week.

Female speaker: Take care. Bye bye.

Leslie: Bye Bye

This concludes today’s episode of the Rare Faith Podcast. You’ve been listening to Leslie Householder, author of the Jackrabbit Factor, Portal to Genius and Hidden Treasures: Heavens Astonishing Help With Your Money Matters. All three books can be downloaded free at ARareKindOfFaith.com so tell your friends and join Leslie again next time as she goes even deeper into the principles that will help you change your life [Music]