Lisa writes:
Hi Leslie, I am sure you are totally busy, but I am just really bummed out right now. I am currently attending the University of Phoenix online to get my psychology degree. I am taking a philosophy class which I thought I would love, turns out the instructor is very picky so I am not enjoying or doing well in this class.
I read once that if something is a struggle, then it is not the right thing to be doing. If I am meant to be doing something than it should be inspired and easy flowing. I want to be a life coach and thought that with a degree in psychology, it might make things better.
I am worried too because I am getting financial aid and if I fail this class I may have to end up paying for the class or pay loans back or something which will put me further in the hole. I am just sitting here wondering what I am doing and really very upset. I didn’t know who to turn to or even what to do right now, So I guess I just needed to vent. I am scared, lets just say that. I am at work right now, if I wasn’t I would be crying. – Lisa C.
My response:
Hi Lisa!
First of all, take a deep, deep breath.
Second of all, let me add my perspective on the comment, “if something is a struggle, then it is not the right thing to be doing.” I think there is some truth to that, but it’s been twisted.
I gave birth to a few kids, and every one of those labors was a TREMENDOUS struggle. That doesn’t mean in the least that it wasn’t the right thing to do. The truth is that ANYthing worth having is worth struggling for. The key is to keep your “WHY” vivid and alive. When you lose sight of why you’re putting yourself through something tough, then the pain is only magnified. When you remember the people whose lives you’ll change forever, the passion and the dream of that expectation is anesthesia that dulls the pain.
I can’t tell you how many times my husband and I thought, “We can do anything, as long as it gets us closer to our goal, and as long as we know it’s temporary.” We always said that about the un-fun things we had to do along the way.
Furthermore, if you give up now just because it isn’t fun anymore, then how will you ever be qualified to coach someone else through their struggles?
If I were you, I’d do what I could to remember the Law of Polarity and the Law of Rhythm, especially now. As horrible as this is, is how wonderful the reward will be on the other side. If it’s only a little bit bad, then the reward will only be a little bit good. If things are bad today, you can expect an upturn in your mood soon enough. Look forward to it, expect it. Be grateful for the pain today, because it is only through that pain that there could possibly be meaning in the victory.
As for the “flow” concept, yes, things can go smoothly and you can have that peace of mind being in the flow. But it is an internal thing. Life will always deliver challenges. ALWAYS. Life mastery means finding peace of mind and assurance that everything is going to be okay no matter what. When you live in that kind of a state of being, then the resources you need begin to flow your way more naturally. But remember, you’ve got to achieve that mindset before it flows, and that mindset can only be achieved in the middle of hardship. (Anyone can find peace of mind when life is going smoothly; the best rewards come from finding it when life is NOT going smoothly. That’s what separates the winners from the crowd.)
So, in reality, your hardship right now is a tremendous gift to you – you’re being given the opportunity to prove your mental toughness and demonstrate right thinking in spite of it. Pass the test and you leap to a new level of life success. Without the hardship, you would have no opportunity to prove yourself, and no corresponding reward would be waiting.
Anyway, I know this probably isn’t what you wanted to hear, but I hope you find it helpful.
Hang in there – a better day is coming if you respond to this the right way. Think, “How would a champion handle this? How would a highly successful success coach handle this?” You’ve got it inside of you to conquer this – be kind to yourself. Do your best and let God handle the rest. Whatever the outcome is, chalk it up to your experience that adds to the value you’ll have to offer your future clients.
Warmest regards, 🙂
Leslie
Lisa’s reply:
Thank you so so much Leslie! It means so much to me that you took time out to write me back! I love every bit of your reply. It all makes perfect sense! Again thank you so much! Just what I needed.
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