When Someone Steps on Your Hair

“Leaning into” your problem is less painful than pretending it doesn’t exist.

One afternoon as I was playing with my kids, my sweet little two year-old stepped on my hair.

The instant I felt the pain, I pulled away to get out from under her little feet. It was my instantaneous reaction, albeit not very smart.

Lesson learned:

When someone steps on your hair, lean in, and gingerly remove them from off your hair before pulling away.

I know, I know… it’s not an experience that most of the people in the world will ever have, but it reminded me of a principle worth mentioning.

When you have pain in your life, financial or otherwise, just don’t panic. Panic leads to instinctive reaction, and instinctive reaction oftens result in more pain overall than is necessary.

Subconscious programs kick in when you’re in “fight or flight” (panic/survival) mode.

The key is to lean into the source of your pain, address it without panic or negative emotion, and handle it with a cool head. You’ll be able to solve your problem and avoid unnecessary suffering.

If the problem is that you’re short on money, don’t retreat from your problems, lean in. Go to the person you owe money to, and talk to them about it with a cool head and with the intention of finding a workable solution. Even if there seems to be no possible way to repay a debt, expressing your intentions and regret can leave you feeling more positive than if you pretend the problem isn’t there.

With a positive mindset, you’ll be more likely to eventually think of new solutions you haven’t yet considered.

So, any time you want to instinctively pull away from a problem (hoping it will go away if you just retreat fast enough), remember the lesson I learned from the two year-old who stepped on my hair.

“What if I can never repay my debts? What if I have to file bankruptcy?”

Keep browsing this blog. You’ll learn how to find your hidden resources, and also how to turn failures into successes.

You can also download my free ebook: Hidden Treasures: Heaven’s Astonishing Help with Your Money Matters

Need a genius solution to a difficult problem? Sign up for Genius Bootcamp – early rate expires soon! Originally published July 4, 2009

Leslie Householder

10 Responses

  1. I do understand the story, but the problem is that most of the times I lack the courage to lean against the problem. What if it does not work?

  2. This is such great advice. We tend to be afraid and pull away from problems instead of owning them. I made a mistake not long ago on a project Iwas doing for a client. When it came to my attention I owned it. I told my client that it was totally my fault, that I would be angry at me if I were them, that I was sorry and that I would do everything I could to make it right. They didn’t know what to say because they were ready for a fight. We have been able to work together to resolve the issue. Leaning in is definitely the right thing to do.

  3. Dear Leslie
    thank you for all your Letters,its very nice everytime all this.”But”i have a problem,sometime its ok to read and sometimes i´dont understand,i´am from Germany i try to translate in my Language.I want to read all,its possible in Germany??i want know all this what you wride,and than i can understand more.Now in this moment i have a bad time,because i live alone with my son(10 year)work in barbershop but the money i get is to little.And i live in divorce,must be buy a Bed,i sleep on the couch over 1 year!I i think its enough!!!!!!I miss a Bed,i miss a Boyfriend he takes me in his Arms,sometimes when my Son is sleeping,i cry because i feel lonely,but iam a beautyful woman,i´dont understand.But i know,the law of attraction,now i loose my hope!!!whats wrong??please can you help me to find away to come out?i hope you can write me back.big THANK YOU:-)ps.sorry my bad english..xoxo tina

    1. Hi Tina, I wish I knew German and could help you better! My surname is of German heritage but I married into the name, so unfortunately it doesn’t help me speak the language. I would invite you to visit our forum and introduce yourself there. Perhaps someone in our community knows German or is from Germany and can connect with you.

  4. I know exactly what you mean! Great analogy. I have found that as I focus my energy towards taking care of the things that I want to do the least, that are blocking me from progressing, overcoming them is not as hard as I imagined them to be.

  5. Anyone who has had or has children understands this story all to well…I have tested this thought by pushing back on many hands and always they push back. Love – forgives the child, why not for everyone.

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