Remember Makakilo

By Denice Wallace

I love the Law of Relativity because it really helps me to keep things in perspective. Knowing about this law has helped me to be aware of situations in my life and the things I am going through and be able to look at life with a new perspective, which really helps to keep my spirits up and focus on the good in everything going on.

The Law of Relativity states as taught by Leslie Householder, “Your situation is not fundamentally good or bad until you compare it to something else.” In reality we are the ones that tend to make a situation bad or good by how we perceive the situation. What may be a bad situation to one may seem wonderful to another. 

When we first moved to Hawaii, we had been homeless for 2 months because we had sold our house earlier then expected. We lived in our trailer, hotels and basements of family and friends. It was a very difficult time because we did not have a place to call our own. Have you ever been on a trip for a week or two and had to stay with others? When you get home, you are so grateful to be home in your own space and can just relax, I know at least I am.

After arriving in Hawaii, we had another month that we lived in a hotel before we found a home to move into. I remember being so grateful to have a place we could call home, but we very quickly realized that this home was not going to be suitable for our family and we would need to do something about it soon.

Every time I had a really bad day, I was able to draw up memories of our situation when we were homeless and that is what helped me get through the hard times, because I was able to compare our current situation with another one that was worse. It helped me realize that our situation really was not so bad and we would have it figured out eventually.

As our situation got worse in Makakilo, at least it felt that way to us, from a roach infested home, to my kids having no friends and being asked if they do drugs, long commutes, fighting, depression, and just bad vibes in our home. Life felt pretty bleak, but at least we had a home. 

Now we are in a nice home and my kids are happy and thriving. One evening we were sitting down to dinner one evening and my family was getting really annoyed and even angry because the doorbell kept ringing and interrupting our dinner. It was kid after kid coming to the door to see if my boys could play.

As I saw the anger rising in my family all I had to say was 2 words and it completely changed the atmosphere in our home in an instant. REMEMBER MAKAKILO!!! My whole family had such a bad experience living there for that short 2 months that all it takes is to remember what it was like and all of a sudden everyone is grateful for all the kids ringing and knocking at our door. 

I have a friend who would talk about how hard her life situation was and her friend would always speak and say to her, “well I survived cancer”. My friend said her response was always “You Win” and whatever she was going through just never seemed as bad. 

Just as stated before our situations are not “good or bad it just is”. We are the ones that start adding emotion and perspective to our situations and by comparing what we are going through with what someone else is going through can really help you to get through whatever it is you are going through.


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Denise Wallace
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