By Beckie Dragon
I worked at the LDS Church Office Building recording family Indexing. Typing the information in front of me was mostly mindless work. Over a two-week period, I kept hearing a voice in my mind that said, “go talk to your bishop.” I didn’t know why so I kept putting it off, but after two weeks I finally went to talk to my bishop. While visiting he said, “Have you ever thought about going on a mission?” At first, I kind of brushed off his casual comment and continued on. But then it hit me, and I said, “You’re serious, aren’t you?” After I left his office and was walking home, I said a prayer out loud, “Oh Heavenly Father, is this what you want me to do?” I heard an audible voice as I never had before that simply said, “Yes!”
Six months later I found myself on my mission. I was scared and still lacked confidence, but I knew it was where I belonged. One of the things that was expected of me was to memorize eight different discussions and a lot of scriptures that went with them. It was an overwhelming and daunting task. One that felt impossible. I knew it would take a miracle. I believed that the Lord would help me because, after all, I was out there because I knew it was His will. The harder I tried the more discouraged I became.
The mission president thought it would be a good idea to have a competition to do what was called “fast pass offs” to see how fast we could pass off all the discussions at once. That was my worst nightmare! No matter how hard I tried, it took me hours to get through it. I received many pep talks from lots of people, but my belief was I just simply could not do it. I wasn’t capable.
I worked hard on those discussions throughout my mission, but they continued to be a struggle for me. I would have to study the specific discussion beforehand with each appointment we had to teach.
Finally, at the end of my mission I was reflecting and praying about the challenge those discussions had been throughout my mission. I asked the Lord why He hadn’t made it easier when I was out there serving Him and wanted to be a good missionary and do my best. The answer was because he wanted me to rely on the Spirit, not on the memorized words. Wow! What a blessing that insight was to me. I realized how much the Lord loved me and knew what was best for me as well as those I taught. I realized He was in fact there for me every step of the way. I realized I had grown closer to my Father in Heaven as I relied on him to get me through each teaching situation. It truly had brought me closer to the Spirit of the Lord. My greatest struggle had been my greatest blessing!
I wonder how different things would have been if I had known about and relied on the Law of Polarity in the beginning of my mission. I believe I would have trusted that God knew what was best and not questioned or doubted. I would have been more patient with myself and my abilities. I would have looked for the blessing in the challenge to begin with instead of finding out when it was all said and done. I would have been calmer and more at peace. I would have been more grateful and trusting. It would have helped me have the proper perspective.
The lesson in the Law of Polarity for me now is to remember when I’m faced with challenges that seem insurmountable, the greater the challenge the greater the blessing! Remember to look for the blessings along the way. There must be opposition in all things. Above all put my trust in the Lord knowing He knows what is for my best growth.
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