By Beckie Dragon
The Law of Perpetual Transmutation was completely foreign to me. I never set goals and I never dreamed. I had a basic belief that everybody else could do this or that or be this or that but not me. If I wanted something, I had to convince my parents that it was important enough to me so they would invest in it for me.
After I started working, if I didn’t have money for something, I just went without. The saying was “make it do or do without.” I didn’t have the mindset of “I want that, so I’ll find a way.” It was “I can’t have it” and dismiss it.
I would, however, get spiritual promptings such as “you should buy your own home.” I found a realtor and a home and with some finagling it became my home.
There were many things I didn’t think I even wanted but I would get a prompting such as, “you should take a church history tour.” The money was in savings, so I went. Things just seemed to fall into place.
The only thing I ever wanted or dreamed of in my life was a husband and a family. I wondered who that would be and what he would be like. I remember sitting in class in 5th grade and thinking “I wonder who I will marry” because I sat at the table with a cute boy whose name was Don. But I heard a voice in my head that said Steve. I kept that to myself feeling like no one would believe me.
I knew that the kind of person I wanted would be a member of my religion and have a strong testimony. Perhaps he would be a returned missionary for the church, maybe he would even be General Authority material. We would travel and speak together at firesides or other meetings.
I went to many, many singles dances because I love to dance, and I felt like I needed to do my part to find “Mr. Right.” I did that and other activities for way more years than I wanted! I did date quite a few guys (their names were not Steve) but I always just kind of knew they weren’t “the one.”
Just 3 years before I met my husband, I was in a sacred place praying and the Spirit whispered to me that I had chosen my companion in the pre-existence. Well, now I was really eager to meet him.
I did the things I felt I could do to find him, but I knew it was in the Lord’s hands. I would meet him when the time was right.
Then one day my sister-in-law said she had someone in her ward she wanted me to meet. His name was Steve. Yep, you guessed it. He was “the one.” He had been married and divorced so I actually got a husband and a family when I was 31.
Now I had everything I ever wanted.
No, wait…something was wrong with this picture. We started having children together and wanted to bring our family together with his children. I didn’t know the laws and principles that “Rare Faith” teaches. While I felt like it was a righteous desire and we fasted and prayed for a specific miracle, I felt like I needed to do my part to “make” it happen. I was not calm and didn’t trust in the Lord’s timing. It took about 9 very ugly, depressing years to get the 2 youngest children.
This was such a long hard process and didn’t end up as I had hoped. I actually lost faith and hope. I didn’t trust or allow myself to dream or want anything. I didn’t trust myself to choose a worthy goal and I felt I couldn’t trust that the Lord would want for me what I wanted.
There was another experience as well: we designed a two-story home and built it up to the subfloor and then we were counseled to only build one level. I was devastated and my belief was further cemented that I can’t have what I want.
Learning the laws and principles of “Rare Faith” have given me hope again.
Now, I have tested the Law of Perpetual Transmutation by visualizing a fun Christmas party with my family all together. I wrote out my goal and felt it with gratitude, had promptings to do certain things to bring it about, and have seen it come through the process to completion. I chose to believe it was a worthy goal and that what I want, the Lord wants for me.
I know this is just the beginning. With practice and increased faith, I can co-create with God for a brighter future.
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