Not what she expected

Meet Kristi Steidley, Mindset Mastery Honors Graduate.

Kristi discovered something interesting and profound through her struggle to select an inconsequential goal during Phase 1 of the Mindset Mastery course.

In her words:

I was struggling to think of something for my midterm [inconsequential] goal. I first thought of a rainbow, but that’s probably because it had been raining all day. Too obvious. I thought of a butterfly, but dismissed it. I wanted something a little more challenging. So, I settled on tapioca pudding. I haven’t had that since I was a teenager.

There was a story behind it—my cousin and I burned the pudding, ruined Grandma’s pan, and hid the evidence. Of course Grandma found it, and in her kind, forgiving way, used it as a teaching moment I will never forget. I imagined my grandma as one of my angels delivering the pudding to me. I imagined the taste and texture of the pudding. It was so sweet.

A few days went by and no pudding. However, I did see a butterfly as I was sitting outside with my family. Was that it? Was my goal accomplished? I did have a fleeting thought of seeing a butterfly and I did see one. I figured it must “count”, but I didn’t know for certain. Besides, I had my mind set on tapioca pudding.

On our Mindset Mastery call, we discussed that our midterm goal shouldn’t be difficult. We sometimes make it harder than it needs to be. That’s what I was doing. I realized I hadn’t picked an inconsequential goal. I needed to think of something simpler.

Kristi realized that the tapioca pudding was not inconsequential. It had a story. It had history. It carried a lot of meaning. Therefore, it did not qualify for being truly “inconsequential”. Not that one couldn’t experiment with a goal that carries a level of personal meaning, but we do not recommend it for the Phase 1 experiment.

She continued:

After our class, I found that my husband and kids were watching a movie. I sat down to watch it with them. I wasn’t really paying attention to the movie because I was trying to think of an inconsequential goal. The thought came to me “What about seeing a caterpillar?” That’s random and has no important meaning to me. Sure! I want to see a caterpillar. Within 15 minutes, a caterpillar showed up on the screen.

It wasn’t until the next day when I saw another butterfly, I made the connection to the caterpillar. It was inconsequential, but maybe there was some meaning for me in this. I began to research butterflies. I felt as if God was speaking directly to me. It was incredible. I learned some really neat things about myself as I learned how I am like a butterfly (and caterpillar).

This experience has caused me to ponder how this relates to the law of perpetual transmutation.

I didn’t have an experience based on a thought I had, I had a thought based on an experience I was about to have.

That was certainly not what she expected.

In that moment, Kristi realized that there was a guiding hand preparing the way for her. She awakened to the idea that these principles are not just about getting our wants. They are also an avenue for discovering God’s hand in our lives. It’s about realizing that we have unseen help and that God is mindful of each of us, with a plan and a purpose for our lives. Imagine what might happen if we ALL came to discover this, and learned how to trust where he is leading us?

She concluded:

God was trying to get my attention so I would hear Him. He had a beautiful message for me. I am so grateful I paid attention (finally) and listened. I was being so stubborn about how I thought it should go, but God’s way is always best.

One day I decided I wanted to see a balloon. I did—in the shape of a butterfly! I have seen several butterflies all week. And I even saw a rainbow.

I asked Kristi: “Did you face a fear from assignment/lesson 18? How effective were you at being able to think truth in spite of appearances?”

She replied:

I wrote my fears of being a judgmental, condescending person who forgets God and becomes prideful and worldly. I have seen it happen to people I love dearly. I was able to think truth knowing I will be fine as long as I remain close to God and always give credit to Him.

If you had difficulty with anxiety or other troubling emotions, did you find a method for overcoming them? Please describe your experience:

Writing in my journal has been the most beneficial way for me to address troubling emotions that arose during this course. It’s a therapeutic way to release the emotion and discover the meaning behind it.

Tell me about your Phase 2 Goal. (This goals is meant to be a bite-sized piece of a difficult, meaningful, or important goal, in comparison to the Inconsequential Goal from Phase 1.)

Her response was beautiful:

Strengthening our marriage was part of my short-term goal, so my bite-sized piece of my short term goal was to have a conversation with my husband about something important and personal. I knew it might be uncomfortable, but I also knew it would bring us closer together.

I was so nervous to start the conversation with my husband, so I kept putting it off. It wasn’t that I was scared to talk to my husband, I was scared to RECEIVE greater love. It meant I would have to address the subconscious stories that I’m not deserving of such love. I knew I was keeping myself (and my husband) from enjoying abundance.

And yes, I did face a terror barrier. I knew I needed to have that heart-to-heart conversation… But it was a terror barrier for me because I knew I was subconsciously holding back from complete marital enjoyment.

I did some journaling to discover I had some hidden fears about our marriage moving to the next level. I am so grateful I pushed through that terror barrier. I casually brought up the topic and we had a great conversation. It was wonderful.

I felt so much joy and gratitude for the wonderful relationship we have. I faced my fears and opened the way for more fulfillment in our marriage. The level of passion we have for each other has increased since that day. It seems silly to me now that I was so scared about that one little conversation.

We hadn’t talked and laughed like that in a long time. I feel so much closer to him. Most importantly, I embrace the love we have for each other.

Well done, Kristi, and congratulations! I love how Mindset Mastery isn’t just about money. Thank you for demonstrating how one can use the principles to affect any life change he or she desires!

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Kristi has since moved on to join the Facilitator Track. To learn more about Kristi and what she’s up to now, visit www.rarefaith.org/kristi-steidley.

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Leslie Householder
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