I didn’t know what I wanted

Meet Sarah Young.

In the few months I’ve become acquainted with Sarah, I’ve come to know her as a woman who takes her challenges head on, who is not without weakness, fears, or insecurities, but who recognizes and tackles them with determination.

I’ve often said that the cure for fear is not courage; the cure for fear is knowledge. And that is exactly the approach Sarah took – increasing her knowledge and understanding of the laws – to overcome her challenges through the Mindset Mastery program.

As she applied for graduation, I had a few questions:

Q. Did you face a Terror Barrier during the course?

[Yes] – Choosing to believe that I can ask for what I want, as long as it does not infringe on someone else’s agency. A bigger part of this was a realization that I can set my own personal boundaries which would ultimately build my confidence in the process. At some point, decision making became difficult for me. I felt like I often had unique preferences, so it was generally easier to let others make decisions for me because I wasn’t too picky, either.

I found myself faced with the realization that I no longer knew what I liked or wanted, or if I did, I wouldn’t say so for fear of rejection. I felt the terror of standing up for myself because I was unsure how others would act/react, but I also recognized that if I value my agency so highly that I must respect others as well. By enforcing my boundaries, it has allowed me to accept other people’s boundaries in the process. Acceptance of differences seems to be what has truly pushed me through this barrier.

Q. Describe your experience with the “Inconsequential goal”.

I was driving home from the dentist, grateful to have one less hole in my head, when I looked over and saw a black pickup truck with snow and ice across the hood. I thought it was a little strange, but remembered the weather has turned cooler and figured it must have been sitting in a shady location. Not too surprising.

I thought to myself “I would love to see a pine tree with snow on it.” I imagined snow clinging to all of the branches and how the snow makes it seem magical. I felt the joy and the giddiness of seeing one of my favorite visions of nature.

I kind of dismissed the thought since it didn’t seem like I would see the result of my desire as I looked around. Any snow we got had already gone and there was no snow forecast in the immediate future. At least not in any quantity to cover a pine tree. So, I thought, “maybe not today,” but I held on to my vision.

Later on after I returned home, I noticed I had a message my husband had sent to my daughter and me. I opened the message window and immediately saw snow covered ground and a snow covered car. My thoughts? Oh, nice.

I was about to close the window when I stopped. Wait. Hold on. And there it was. It was my snow covered pine tree! I rejoiced (maybe laughed a little) and my heart was full.

When I inspected the photo further, I realized the message had actually been sent to me the night before! I hadn’t even seen there was a message until this moment in time. I don’t even think I would have noticed the pine tree even if I had seen the picture the night before.

Even now, I have a broad smile across my face as I ponder this. God knew. Somehow, he knew. He prepared this moment for me – an opportunity to see and experience that God is truly in the details.

Q. How effective were you at being able to think truth in spite of appearances in assignment/lesson 18?

I feared advocating for myself, verbalizing a recent medical diagnosis, and disappointing my supervisor. I realized that I could sit in my current situation and do nothing, or I could take action on some information that became available which required a serious conversation about ‘me.’ There was a job posting a friend of mine had shared on her personal Facebook account for my same employer, but I could not find it when I looked on the internal job site.

In the past, I might have dismissed it thinking that they already had taken down the posting and then perused the ones still there. It occurred to me, however, that I should look at the external site because my friend had also noted that the start date wasn’t until mid-January. Low and behold, I found the posting and it was at this point that I knew I needed to talk with my supervisor about applying for the role. I believed, without a doubt, that they would allow me to interview for the position and I simply needed to take action and ask for it. In our next meeting, I brought the topic up with my supervisor where he gave me his full support and then, while still on the call, took his own actions to determine our next step.

Q. If you had difficulty with anxiety or other troubling emotions, how did you deal with them?

I have had anxiety in my life for so long that it’s hard to remember a time without it. I became a chronic over-thinker, or as Stephanie Lee said to me once that it’s more like “attention overload.” I was paying too much attention to what the world was saying about who and what I should be. This ultimately became confusing due to many inconsistencies, not to mention rather conflicting with my core values. In fact, this course helped me to identify what my true core values are which led to releasing many subconscious programs from the first few decades of my life, while allowing truth to take its place. For me, the laws feel natural, like I know them very well, but this did not protect me from the greater anxiety I experienced as I let go of some old programs that were not in line with the laws.

One thing that has helped with overcoming some anxiety was defining what it is. I determined it is basically two conflicting programs within the subconscious that have received emotional investment. The old programs tend to have more emotions banked than the new ones, so I learned to recognize that I need to remain committed to writing the new programs lest I fall back into the old ones.

I noticed I would feel anxiety every time I thought about completing the Mindset Mastery coursework but would feel great peace and comfort once I sat down to do it. Ultimately, this experience helped teach me how much my choices – more so the ownership I take of my choices – impacts my mental health and really everything else around me. I get to choose what program to entertain, and I can release anxiety at any point I choose to act. I think one big a-ha moment was when I realized that by not making a choice is, in-fact, making a choice, so I have learned to be OK with things as they are. I know I can make a different choice whenever I am ready, but I recognize that change won’t happen until I do something about it.

Q. What was your goal or intention for the Phase 2 experiment?

“11/27/2020 (bite size goal) – I did it! I signed up to attend Genius Bootcamp in person with Leslie Householder in April 2021! I am full of peace and gratitude as I take this step to fulfill my passions and desire to become a Rare Faith Program Facilitator. I am excited to experience clarity and focus of thought as I fulfill my life mission. I am grateful that the Lord opened a way for me to feel supported in pursuing my dreams, and my marriage is now stronger than ever.”

As far was what makes this a 10 for me is a few things:

One, the Bootcamp I want to attend is in Arizona; I am in Michigan. This is an investment since it’s not only the Bootcamp I need to pay for, but also travel, lodging, and food. I have not generally considered myself worth investing in, but fortunately I have been shifting that mindset to acknowledge that I most certainly am and that I will have the means to pay for it.

Two, this takes me away from my family and I have a deeply seated program that says I am not supposed to leave my family (husband and 2 children) to pursue my dreams. Fortunately, I have made strides to dig out that seed and form a true partnership in my marriage.

Three, my husband historically has not responded well when I have left the state without him regardless of the circumstances for why I left.

This “bite-size” piece is actually more like a mouthful for me simply because it is asking me to be firm in my choices and follow-through. It took me over a year from when I first found this material to follow-through on my decision to join Mindset Mastery. I look back now and see where my original opportunity to join actually occurred, but did not act due to a lot of fear surrounding my relationship with money and a severe lack of self-confidence.

Fortunately, I continued reading many of the pieces Leslie posts through social media and have felt my passion grow through this time. It feels tempting to simply say, “This is not for me. I have a job of 17+ years that pays me well. Why should I pursue anything else?” And many times, I have listened to that voice.

Mindset Mastery is reminding me who I am and that I have a voice – a perspective – that needs to be heard.

I also need to add that the day I wrote this has been a day. Not just “a” day, but “the” day for my bite size goal. First, the Bootcamp in April was still showing “not available” until the 27th. I checked all morning, with no change, and finally commented about it on one of the posts on Facebook that reminded everyone of the sale this week. Leslie took care of it, but then it said OUT OF STOCK! Ack! I could have easily given up. I could have easily accepted what I saw as truth.

Instead, I chose to believe that maybe it was simply another item to fix, so I reached out with a direct message to Leslie:

“Hi Leslie! I have been checking all morning for the availability for the bootcamp in April. I replied on the post, and I saw that you fixed it, but now it’s showing out of stock. I’m eager to participate in a live session vs a virtual session as I anticipate I’ll have greater success by limiting my distractions. I’m hoping this is simply another item to fix on the website, otherwise, will there be other live sessions scheduled before 5/31? My plan is to join track 2 and the facilitator track shows this is the deadline to complete step 1. Thank you for your assistance😊”

I then chose to “keep calm and watch what happens.” And it worked. Leslie replied to let me know to try again, and now I’m going to Arizona in April 2021! I am very excited to take this next step on my path and see “how” I achieve my goals.

Follow up –

I feel like I am still in the middle of the bite-sized goal. I signed up for the Genius Bootcamp, got the time scheduled off from work, and then applied for a new job role. I found out during the interview process that training would be 17 weeks long which meant that Bootcamp would be during week 15, and I plan to take 3 days off for it. Typically, employers seem to frown upon time off during the training period, so I wanted to be upfront with this information and told the interviewer of my intentions. I practiced a lot of faith during the week following my interview, especially since I had scheduled the Christmas holiday week off away from work. I reminded myself of the truth I know and cast away the doubt that would try to convince otherwise. I knew I had much knowledge and experience to offer which would also lend to a new bite-sized goal:

“06-01-2021 – I am so happy and grateful I have completed training with Genius Bootcamp with Leslie Householder and that I have successfully completed my training in my new role at work. I am amazed how well I learned both subjects simultaneously and retained all I learned. I am excited for my next step in my learning at Farmers and at Rare Faith. I know I will be aware when the time to split paths is upon me; for now, I trust God knows me and my desires are fulfilled.”

After my week off, I returned to work on Monday and almost received an official job offer. I say almost because the human resources representative thought this would be a lateral move for me, but it turned out I am at a higher pay grade than she thought. She realized she would need to return to her compensation team to reevaluate some information. I chose to remain calm and I explained I had no expectation of pay increase for the new role. I would simply like to maintain my current pay grade based on my knowledge, experience, and time with the company. I also mentioned the 3 days off in April I intended to take, but she said she had not heard anything about it, and she would check with the hiring manager. It took a couple of days for her to get back to me, but when she did, I had a corrected offer with no change to my salary and confirmation that they will accommodate my time off from work.

One final note. When I reviewed the “official offer,” I noticed one piece of information that would result in a bonus percentage that is half of what I currently enjoy. I took a moment to process what I saw, and I responded in an email to verify this information so I could determine if it were possible to maintain my current bonus rate. She responded that this was her error, and she presented a corrected offer for me to sign.

FUN FACT:

Sarah managed to complete Genius Bootcamp nearly three months earlier than originally planned, and was thus able to join the Rare Faith Program Facilitator Track 1 by February (in preparation to help us deliver Mindset Mastery and Genius Bootcamp classes to others). She’s got the momentum, the determination, and now she has real life experience to help others achieve their own goals with greater confidence and precision. Additionally, she has already contributed nearly ten articles about some of her most profound experiences with the laws. Check them out here.

 

Congratulations, Sarah! Keep up the great work!!

_________________

Leslie Householder
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