One of the most common questions I get is about how to achieve goals when your partner or spouse does not think the same way as you about these principles. There are so many angles to consider, so maybe this is the one that will make a difference for you.
I’ll get to the point:
In order for you and your spouse to have the synergy you’d like to have, you need to have a COMMON GOAL.
I don’t mean to sound too simplistic here, but that’s what it boils down to. If you can’t understand why you aren’t getting the support you’d like to have, then ask yourself, when was the last time you sat down together and talked about what you’d like your future together to look like? Where do you see the two of you in ten years?
Maybe your spouse has lost his/her dream, and is too discouraged to think beyond the here and now. If your dreams are too grandiose for him/her to believe, then take some time to dream with him/her about the things that you can both be excited about, even if they aren’t much of a stretch. For example, daydream together about being grandparents or great grandparents. Talk about a movie you both enjoyed. Talk about the beliefs you share in common.
The more you share with each other, the more you will be “on the same page” in general. If you dream of traveling the world, and your spouse only gets more depressed when s/he hears you talk about it, because it feels impossible to him/her, then keep those dreams to yourself while they take root. Discuss them if you’re encouraged and supported when you do, but if that isn’t what happens, then talk about the common goals to strengthen your relationship and wait for a better season to talk about the bigger things.
Getting it together – in essence, if you are arguing about stuff, it means you’re simply on different frequencies. You need to build a dream together if you want to have harmonic thoughts.
If you spend time with the same mental images, you’ll end up with the same kinds of emotions. That’s “getting it together” and it can begin with taking in images of a more ideal life, together.
Together, watch movies of people who have exemplary lives and enjoy prosperity. Read books about remarkable people, together, so you can talk about them with each other. Get the images in sync that you both are putting into your minds, and eventually your frequencies will more closely match. A small step in this direction makes a big difference. It doesn’t even have to be self-help material, it just needs to be representations of lives that are on a higher plane than where you may be now. Sometimes it’s easier to find this sort of thing in old movies, like “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.”
One final point: A journal is a wonderful place to express and put detail to your dreams when you don’t have someone to talk about them with. It’s more than that, though. It’s the first step to effectively preparing yourself for inspiration on how to achieve it. To understand why, click here to read the award-winning bestseller: The Jackrabbit Factor FREE.
- Why your future is no secret - November 13, 2024
- Unwavering Commitment and Focused Intent - November 1, 2024
- Mind over Brain! - November 1, 2024
12 Responses
I believe God allows us to find whatever it is we are seeking: Matthew 7:7 so I happened upon this post because I’m seeking ways to be In sync with my husband. I’m a very ambitious, goal driven believer and I pray, read, and fast regularly to get in alignment with God’s will for my duties as a wife, business owner and mother. The closer I draw to God it seems the further my husband and I drift apart. He says it’s because I won’t submit to his authority and always want to take the lead: So here’s the issue when I try and discuss with him ways to move our lives further im taking the lead. But when I ask him what his goals for the next 5 years are for the family he doesn’t have a vision. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO. When I’m striving for life more abundantly and my husband says he’d be just as happy if we didn’t live in a better location. I’ve been told since the beginning of our relationship that we’ve been living MY dream and life MY way but I’ve often asked his opinion and he doesn’t have one for anything I’ve asked about. I’m lost as to how we can grow together if he doesn’t want us to grow together because according to him we’re on the same spiritual journey but he literally says he doesn’t want to grow anymore in Christ right now!
Hi Dee. This may help – but I warn you, it’s kinda deep: https://rarefaith.org/the-hardest-thing/
So, just a quick question here – what if your spouse dreams of seeing the world and talks about it and you get depressed, not because of not believing that that could ever come true, but rather that you would rather not travel.
Our situation is that we do have different dreams, not because they would be impossible, but rather they contradict each other: live in a city vs. live in the country.
Any thoughts or advice on coming to some common ground? I appreciate your post and don’t mean to be in any way disrespectful, I just happened to be looking for more about getting to the same page when we are in, apparently, completely different books!
Two points.
1) You get on the same page by finding something you can both look forward to together. By imagining how you both want to feel in your golden years as you look back on the life you built together. If you do not agree with where you are going, then that is more of a marriage problem than a goal setting problem.
2) Healthy, thriving relationships are built on sacrifice and love. You make sacrifices for him, and he makes sacrifices for you. It’s a partnership. I’ve seen too many marriages destroyed because people get excited that by applying “the principles” they can have, do, or be anything they want… and ruin relationships in the process.
Just because you CAN, it doesn’t mean you SHOULD. This is why I stopped building my business full time. My family relationships were suffering, and the greatest joys in life will always come from healthy, happy family relationships. My husband and I had different dreams, and we wanted to achieve them at different paces. I’ve found tremendous joy and happiness in holding back on my own dreams to help him achieve some of his. He’s done the same for me. It’s much nicer traveling the journey together, and making compromises for each others’ sakes along the way.
Leslie –
Thanks for addressing this issue. I think that my husband has the same end result goal as me – that being financially secure – but I know we have different ideas about what to do with all that abundance once it arrives. This post has given me the inspiration I need to keep MY dreams in sight, whether or not they match with anyone else’s vision. Great info as always!
A very good post. It awakens my awareness. I hope you continue
to post articles of this nature. By the way, I like the 4 minute movie very much.
Thanks a lot.
I’ve always kept a “dream journal” of sorts, and it has usually worked wonders. It was only when I decided for some reason that what was going on around me was more important than what was inside me that I lost track.
Thank you so much – not only for this post, but for the movie… Seems to me that I have spent more than enough time chasing rabbits lately – and you’ve inspired me to get back to believing in my dreams!
Blessings –
Sue
This is a beautiful post. I used to have the same issues with my wife. I used a process where I would ask my wife to tell me what she did not like about me and she wanted me to change. At first I used to get a big list then I would take one issue and commit myself to changing that one behaviour or issue that bothered her. In time she came to see that it worked for me and I was able to let her know that if she used the same technique her life would change too, and now we all set our own goals and then we have common goals too.
Good day.
When I started the FTMF course, I can sense that my partner didn’t seem to really believe although he was quite supportive. I mean he knows about the law of attraction but having been to a lot of seminars (yes, we are seminar junkies), he had doubts since we all know that a lot of the other seminars are really hyped. But we always talk about our dreams and sometimes, in our conversations I do mention to him about what you teach and yeah, over the last couple of months he has changed. He even mentioned to me in one of our conversations one of your teachings so it’s great!
Hey I just read a wonderful tidbit about seeing my wife in my page or we being in the same page together. I really liked the concept of sharing views and checking with your partner and discussing things what she likes and what her dreams are. That gives a great insight into the world of freedom. Obviously even she is a being of free will and i cant enforce my will on her. Next time I talk to her I would ask her in a very friendly manner about her dreams and wishes about how she would like to be after 10 years and will if it resonates with mine or not….. That should be a great start for setting a goal with my partner in synergy. A million thanks to you Leslie….
I used to put energy into worrying about what my husband was or wasn't doing to attract in what we wanted. Then I realized how hypocritical that is! The law is not dependant on a spouse! There's no fine print that says…'unless you have a spouse who doesn't believe…' He could no longer be my excuse! If I was ready, things would happen. My focus is no longer on what he's doing, but on myself, and great things are happening…the best of all, we're finally on the same page!
That was a great tid bit of info on getting to be on the same page. I’m going to commit to have a dreaming session and utilize the law of attraction with my girlfriend by the end of the month. Thanks for the inspiration again Leslie!
Kelly