The Perfect Husband

By Kathryn Barney

“His goal attracts him, because he doesn’t let anything enter his soul which might oppose the goal. . .He has that mysterious quality of those people to whom success comes all by itself” (from Siddhartha by Hermann Hessee).

When my first marriage ended, I was absolutely devastated and forlorn. I hadn’t learned these principles yet, and I struggled to manage my emotions and to transition to my new life as a single mom of four little children.

It was a tumultuous time.

Although it’s not what a professional therapist would recommend, I felt anxious to find a new someone to spend my life with. I didn’t take adequate time to heal. I had a lot of heartache during those years of single motherhood. Maybe it wouldn’t have been different if I had waited to enter the dating world. Maybe dating too early contributed to it. I don’t know. All I know is that I wanted to find the husband I had always dreamed of.

I had visualized the perfect husband – for me – for as long as I could remember. I had so wanted it to be my first husband. I spent many hours visualizing a loving, healthy, and supportive relationship while I was married to him. It wasn’t to be.

My visualizations became singularly focused and intense while I was single. I will admit, I visualized it in a state of desperation, not in a state of calmness. But the intensity never wavered. As in the quote above, I never “let anything enter (my) soul which might oppose the goal.” I wouldn’t even entertain the thought that I might live the remainder of my life as a single mother.

It seemed like an eternity, but it was only 2 ½ years after my divorce that I was remarried to Kent, the very person I had visualized for so many years. During those years of visualizing him, I prayed intensely that he would be prepared for me (whoever he may be) and I may be prepared for him. I was not healed when I met him, when I dated him, or when I married him. But being with him has been the perfect catalyst for my healing.

Here’s an interesting twist to the story: Kent and I grew up next door to each other. He was several years older than me (which doesn’t matter now, but does matter as kids), but I knew his family well and our parents are good friends. At the time we were dating and for the first several years of our marriage, our parents were still next-door neighbors. He was always there. My relationship with him was coming into form for many, many years. He also spent time visualizing his perfect marriage. As he and I walked on broken paths, visualizing the relationship we wanted, it was coming into form.

And it couldn’t be any better.


For more on this topic, click here to read Hidden Treasures: Heaven’s Astonishing Help with Your Money Matters FREE.

Kathryn Barney
Latest posts by Kathryn Barney (see all)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.