By Heather Backman
I was in beautiful and heavenly Hawaii when I experienced one of the most dramatic shifts of energy I have ever experienced. I was on a girls trip! It was supposed to be a time to relax, have fun, create closer bonds, and to celebrate my sister’s 50th birthday. I was with my mom, my sisters, and my niece. We were there to celebrate.
Well, past experiences left me feeling worried about this trip because of how I frequently felt when I was around them. I often felt misunderstood, unseen, unheard, unimportant, and very alone in who I am and how I think and do life. I often felt very different from them.
As the first couple of days began, I started feeling more and more burdened by the thoughts and feelings of being undervalued, misunderstood, unheard, unseen, and so different from the rest. My pain began to grow to the point where I could not speak. I cried in my bed one night and on car drives I would sit in silence, put my headphones in, and separate myself from the rest to try and regain some sort of feeling that I had worth and value. Although it did help a bit, I was flooded with wanting to burst into a crying fit and tell all of them how they continually caused me to feel. But, I didn’t want to ruin the trip nor cause drama so I knew I had a choice to make, but I desperately needed support to pull me out of my head. I needed truth spoken to me, I needed a shift of perspective, I needed to talk to someone! Luckily I have been blessed with friends who know how to spot distorted thinking and pull in the truth.
The next morning I reached out to these friends. I told them what I was experiencing and that I needed help. They said two very important things that completely shifted my experience. They said, “Heather, you can choose to tell them how you feel, or you can choose to not say anything and cast those negative distortions out and believe in the truth of who you are.” I realized in that moment that I had a choice! I could choose drama and to live in pain and distorted thinking the rest of the trip, or I could reach inside of me, discover the truth of who I am, and let go of the “need” to be seen and heard. I realized that I could CHOOSE to believe that I AM loved, I AM seen, I AM heard, I AM valued – and whether or not they see it doesn’t matter because I know the truth of who I am.
At that moment, I chose to shift! To COMPLETELY shift! I changed my energy in an instant! With one quick decision! I chose to stop living in the thoughts and feelings of lack, victim, misunderstanding, and pain. And chose to believe that they loved me, cared for me, and that I am valued for who I am.
I remember when I shifted that energy, I felt so free! My heart felt so much lighter. I remember thinking, “Why on earth would I choose to stay living in distorted thinking when I can choose to live in the truth of who I am!” It liberated me! I started to have a lot of fun with them! I started to be myself! I started to talk more, speak up more, share more. And it all came because I chose to shift my mind and my heart. I chose to BELIEVE that I had value. It was one of the most dramatic shifts of emotions and energy I had ever had up to that point. I left that trip feeling happy and proud of myself for choosing to shift my energy.
When we make a choice, we cause things to happen. And the outcome is based on what it is that we choose. Had I continued to stay in pain and victim, my outcome would have been a lot different than it was. I am grateful to know that by making choices that align with who I desire to become, the effect will be the same!
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