Bracing for impact?
Wondering when the other shoe is going to drop?
One of our ATI (Achieving the Impossible) students had a question, to which I know many can relate:
Leslie, I am struggling with getting past the feeling that now that I have some money coming in, it’s like I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I feel that maybe God is going to just rip the rug out from under me and so I don’t dare dream because, what if God doesn’t agree with my dreams?
I feel absolutely paralyzed, and I understand that these are not correct beliefs systems.
Yet, here I am stuck in this rut.
I distance myself from God because I don’t trust that he will let me keep progressing financially. You hear so many stories of people who have to lose everything to finally learn what they are supposed to learn. I feel angry, scared, and frustrated.
Dreaming for what I would love feels painful and scary for me, because it feels like it will be taken away from me or that it’s wrong. I would love a new house. But what if that is not God’s will? I want to release this excess body weight, but what if I fail? I want to travel more with my job and progress up the chain, but what if that means I am a bad mother?
I even felt one morning a peace and calm come over me with the message of something like “get used to traveling less.” Was that of God? I ended up going to Tampa and Grand cayman a few moths after that. Is God mad at me? I love traveling. What if I am not supposed to travel because my kids will be in trouble and need me? My son already struggles so much with emotional disregulation.
Am I selfish to want to progress in my career? How do I trust anything?
My reply:
Oh my goodness, I can totally relate to all of those feelings! They are all valid and understandable. When you feel that way, I really encourage you to just do the next lesson, or at least the next paragraph in any lesson. What you’re dealing with is called a “spin”. It’s where your thoughts go wild with all the fears, concerns, stresses, and worries. The impact of a spin is paralysis, or sometimes the start of creating the very thing you hope to avoid.
However, any spin can be interrupted with new data input. That new data input can come from your own imagination, or it can come from just reading a lesson, listening to an audio, or watching an inspiring video. Doing this gives you new input, reminds you of what’s really true, and helps you more naturally get back on track. (Revisit Lesson 6).
I remember the years when things started to go better but my system was still braced for another blow. Eventually I realized that it really was my new life, because with any new blow that came along, I was not the same person I had been before, I knew how to think about those new blows and it worked out they benefitted me instead of taking me out.
As for all your questions, I recommend listing them in your journal in a prayer format with an expectation that you will get answers to all of them. Those answers will come to you directly from within, from the Spirit of God. Lesson 4 can help you remember exactly how to do that.
You got this!
Warmly,
Leslie
If you can relate to what this student was feeling, and you’re ready for some new input to help YOU get out of a spin, let’s schedule a time when you can talk to a human. Someone who will listen to what’s going on and then help you identify a next right step that you can feel great about. We have resources to help, including some solutions that are free. We’re here for you!
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