By Marcianne Stewart
When I first heard Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” it really resonated with me! Naturally, I found myself using comparison three different ways—which resulted in several different emotions—none of which were joy.
First, I compared my weaknesses to someone else’s strengths, and I felt:
- insignificant
- insecure
- weak
- helpless
Then, I found myself comparing my strengths to someone else’s weaknesses, and I felt:
- pride
- superior
- arrogant
- vain
Lastly, I found myself comparing my hardships to someone else’s hardships, and I felt:
- ashamed
- invalidated
- inadequate
- worthless
Then, as I read “Hidden Treasures” by Leslie Householder, I learned about the Law of Relativity—which states that nothing is fundamentally good or bad until we decide. We get to choose!
In Genius Bootcamp, there is this story about a farmer in ancient China who owned a horse: “You are so lucky!” his neighbors told him, “To have a horse to pull the cart for you.” “Maybe,” the farmer replies. One day the farmer didn’t latch the gate properly and the horse ran away. “Oh no! That is terrible news!” his neighbors cried. “Such bad luck!!” “Maybe,” the farmer replied. A few days later the horse returned, bringing with it six wild horses. “How fantastic! You are so lucky!” his neighbors told him. “Maybe,” the farmer replied. The following week the farmer’s son was breaking-in one of the wild horses when it threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. “Oh no!” the neighbors cried. “Such bad luck, all over again!” “Maybe,” the farmer replied. The next day soldiers came and took away all the young men to fight in the army. The farmer’s son was left behind. “You are so lucky!” his neighbors cried. “Maybe,” the farmer replied.
This story really opened my mind to understanding- we really do have a choice to how we assign a value to our circumstances! The neighbors in this story were quick to compare and assign positive and negative values. The farmer remained open and undecided. What if, instead, we decided to choose a positive meaning to every situation we encounter? This is using the Law of Relativity for our good—comparing our situation to something worse—inherently makes our situation better.
So what if, comparison isn’t the thief of joy, but is actually the catalyst to feel joy? Choosing to compare our situations and circumstances to something we perceive as worse. One way I do this is, I think, “How could my situation be worse?” And then I use my imagination!
Just today, as I was hurrying to leave to an appointment, 2 unexpected events occurred. First, our automated vacuum cleaner (we call it “Carl”) got stuck on my dog, Mozzie’s leash. Then, Mozzie, threw up twice!
Instead of thinking, “Ugh, I do not have time for this today,” I thought, “Thankfully Carl did not get stuck on Mozzie’s throw up! That definitely would’ve been worse! And I gladly cleaned up before I left!” I felt:
- gratitude
- joy
- successful
- inspired
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