By Jennifer Davis
My daughter Lizzy underwent major surgery on her legs five months ago. Since then, I’ve been working to collect my thoughts, make peace with the situation, and keep my mindset where it needs to be moving forward.
Recently, we saw another orthopedic surgeon who conducted a very thorough exam of Lizzy and everything that’s been happening with her body since her surgery last November. The thoroughness was overwhelming—it revealed new problems that we hadn’t known about before.
I’ve been leaning heavily on the law of relativity, which states that “our situations, the things that happen in our lives, are not inherently good or bad—until we compare them to something else.” It’s the emotion we attach to the situation that labels it as good or bad, when in fact, it just is. This situation is what it is.
Is it what we want for her? Of course not.
Is it a problem? Absolutely.
But believe it or not, that’s a good thing.
It’s good that this is a problem—a really big problem—because that means, by law, there is a really big solution out there for her. Will we find it for her in this life? I don’t know. But with every breath in my body, I will keep moving in the direction of that solution. I’ll do so prayerfully and calmly because I know it exists. It is there.
I know Heavenly Father loves Lizzy, and Lizzy shares that love freely with everyone she meets.
When I think back to the person I was a year ago, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude that I’m no longer in that mindset. A year ago, receiving news like this would have left me crying on the floor, overwhelmed by the hopelessness of the situation. I now see how counterproductive—and damaging—that reaction was. It didn’t just harm my mental state; it affected my entire body. It was unnecessary.
You can’t find solutions to big problems when you’re lying on the floor crying. You have to be calm, patient, and keep moving your feet—moving toward the solution that must be there, by law.
I’ve learned to choose how I respond to situations, and it’s liberating.
As difficult as this situation may seem, I also know and fully appreciate that it could be so much worse. From that perspective, it’s not as bad as it might appear. Lizzy is healthy, strong, and happy. Whatever the future holds, I know she won’t let anything stand in her way.
I remind myself often that while her body and mind may not be perfect, her spirit—the part of her that comes from God—is 100% whole. There’s nothing weak or underdeveloped about it. It is complete, lacking nothing.
Leslie Householder taught me to “remain calm and watch what happens.” That calm has been priceless during everything we’ve been facing with Lizzy. Solutions—big or small—come when our minds are calm.
If there’s a problem, there’s a solution.
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