My A-Ha Moment

 

By Jennifer de Azevedo

As a small child, I knew I had been blessed.  I was very familiar with the phrase, “To whom much is given, much is expected.” Somehow, I had twisted that to mean I didn’t have the right to ask for a lot because I had already been given so much.  What a horrible, limiting belief.   

One night, while praying for direction on how to handle a very personal situation with a good friend, I heard a voice say, “It’s okay to ask.”  I felt like I couldn’t ask for help with the matter due to not wanting to violate anyone else’s agency. Because of this, I couldn’t seem to figure out how to handle this scenario.  I kept feeling guided to be around for this friend, but I could find no way of helping and I felt stuck between feeling like the universe wanted me there for a specific purpose, and not knowing why. After going around in circles in my mind for weeks I received that answer.  “It’s okay to ask.” I was stunned. Suddenly doors everywhere were opened for me. I had so many questions and now I had a green light to ask. I started asking questions nonstop. “Can I ask for this?” I’d get an answer and move on. “Can I ask for that?” I realized I could ask God about everything!  I’d been feeling like a little kid who had all these questions and requests but didn’t want to pester anyone with them. I pictured tugging on Heavenly Father’s sleeve and Him rolling His eyes at me in exasperation and saying, “You again?” I could see myself stammering, “Um…I know you’re busy and there are people starving in Africa, but I could really use some help.” Now I’d been given permission!  Four simple words changed everything, and I realized it wasn’t how I’d imagined at all. I could ask!! If I was afraid of asking for something, I would ask if it was okay for me to want and ask for it. I always felt like I got an answer and then I could go forward with my goals in faith, knowing they were good goals.  

Those four words gave me an immense sense of freedom.  I didn’t have to wonder anymore. I realized that it wasn’t just okay for me to ask, but God and the Universe WANTED me to ask.  They want and need me to be successful as much as I want and need to be successful with my goals and given talents.  

The only thing that’s been holding me back is how I’ve been thinking.  Now that I know better, the world has opened up in ways I never could have imagined.

Jennifer de Azevedo
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