By Katalina Bonds
The Law of Cause and Effect states that every cause has an effect and that every effect has a cause. Nothing happens by chance. The example Leslie Householder gives in her book, Hidden Treasures, states that if you plant a carrot in the ground, you can be assured a carrot is what will grow. If I move in a good direction, good things will move towards me. Likewise, what we sow (in outward actions), we will reap (in reactions towards us).
Recently, my husband and I experienced doing something that brought with it a consequence we fully regretted later. It all started when we decided it was time to move our two adult sons with autism into a group home. The intention was for their growth and independence.
As we can all attest, living at home with Mom and Dad is too comfortable sometimes. It hinders our motivation to do more for ourselves. This was no different for our sons. In fact, it was even more critical to get them into an environment where they would have a greater chance of achieving more independence than Brian and I could ever give them living with us.
The regret was not the decision to move the boys into a group home. In the process of finding a group home, an opportunity showed up offering us the option to keep the boys in the home with a full-time caregiver living with them. The caregiver seemed to have appeared like a blessing from above. We interviewed the caregiver and they spoke very highly of themselves and their experience working with the special needs population and they seemed like the perfect t.
Soon after, however, our guts started speaking to us. Brian and I felt something was not right, but our minds rationalized that this situation was the best and least restrictive for our sons. Having them be able to stay comfortably in their home seemed like the best option.
So, we moved forward with moving out and leaving our sons in the hands of this caregiver. Then all hell broke loose. Our younger son kept calling me non-stop. I never realized how much language and understanding he was capable of until that time. He was upset all the time and he was struggling A LOT. However, what really started to concern us was the behavior he was manifesting because it was causing harm to the caregiver and his older brother.
After two months of this chaos, we discovered what our intuition had tried to tell us. This caregiver was not only untrained in the caring of special needs, they did not know how to communicate with special needs and to top it off, they had never been around an epileptic. As you can imagine, we were filled with guilt and horror at what we had just put our children through.
One decision…one choice…one big mistake and our lives turned upside down. My husband and I now know, we will always follow our gut instinct. When it sounds the warning, we will follow through with gathering all the needed information before moving forward until our gut is content with the decision.
I am so grateful to say, that even through this challenge, we kept our eye on our vision for our sons and in the end, it turned out beautifully and came together in a miraculous way in its own perfect timing.
I encourage you to listen to your gut, even when your mind is justifying, rationalizing and saying this is the easy route. Remember Brian and Rosa and stop to answer the concerns your gut is communicating to you, because every choice will cause a reaction. You want it to be a good one.
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