I received an email from one of my Achieving the Impossible students, and since it’s a question I’ve heard before, it’s time to turn it into a post for everyone’s benefit! (Details have been adjusted for privacy and clarity.) She writes:
“Hey there Leslie… I realized … one of the reasons I am holding back and have not been going all in is because I’ve always had deep-seated beliefs that if I’m successful financially, that God won’t love me, I’ll be a bad person, or that I’ll be setting a poor example to my kids. This is all based on the ‘pride’ lessons my father hammered into us through the years, all the while he became a hoarder who only shops at thrift stores.
“Logically, I know being wealthy and successful are all ok things, and I thought that deep-seated belief was gone by now, because I’ve done so much work to override and heal that.
“However, the piece that was most powerful for me today was when you said: “I choose to believe this at the risk of being wrong.” Because I know logically, that I’m a righteous daughter of God, but that belief still has me handcuffed to the chair…
“So it’s kind of like that thought is also saying: ‘I am going to choose to believe it at the risk that my deep-seated untruth is right.’ I have to move forward anyway. I have to work towards gain, progression, and growth, anyway. And trust that God will teach me and heal my heart along the way to reprogram that deep-seated belief, as I allow God to show me how it’s actually a lie, and that I CAN be both a good person in God’s eyes, and financially well off.
“And I know all the things. I know that abundance is good, it’s His nature to help us to grow in all things, including finances, and that all the General Authorities and mission president’s are well off… but it’s just that dang deep-seated belief that keeps surfacing when I get to a place that’s good… I just fall right back into survival mode financially. Like I’m protecting myself from being bad because I’m financially well off.”
My response:
“Oh for sure! Yes, that’s HUGE. I had the same subconscious beliefs… growing up I’d see someone with money or an abundant lifestyle and I just knew they were bad people, and secretly very unhappy. Nobody taught me that – it was just the conclusion I chose to help me feel better. It takes time and a lot of effort to overcome the effects of those kinds of flawed programs.
“I think you hit the nail right on the head when you said that you may have to move forward WITH those beliefs for a time, at the risk even of your spiritual well being. It’s going to feel wrong for a while. When I first intentionally envisioned myself in a better life, the voice in my head was screaming about how pathetic I was that it had come to that – to ‘escape’ reality seemed SO irresponsible and hopeless. You have to fight it until it realizes the old tactics won’t stop you anymore. You’re the one at the helm here!
“Also, rehearsing the new life in your mind every chance you get will help your subconscious get acclimated to it, and eventually it will kick in to help you realize it, instead of constantly throwing up alarms and warnings.”
Her response showed me that this wasn’t the first time she’s apply this principle:
“Yes, I think this is a huge piece for me. To move forward in spite of feeling the fear…
“Thank you so much – it really helps to hear that’s how it was for you as well. I know I’ve done this in the past, and it has worked when I used to be in sales and working to earn a free car. All of the fears of me being a bad mom came up, so I just decided to give it 6 months to try and see if it made me a bad mom when I won the car.
“There are some regrets about time away from my kids that I spent now, but I don’t blame it on the decision to win a car. I wasn’t really present with my kids then even when I was with them. That’s something that as moms we are way more aware of now, and I had so much underlying self judgement then too. So lots of internal stuff back then.
But I also can set this as my intention now, to be a successful, righteous woman and be a good mom, all at the same time, letting God mentor me into that. Thanks again!”
For more on motherhood and goal achievement, visit https://rarefaith.org/?s=moms
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- Overcoming Deep-Seated Beliefs - February 10, 2025
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