By Cosette Snarr

I spent years trying to change a situation in my life that felt completely unacceptable. I’d had success in other areas before—when I worked hard, I saw results. But this situation wouldn’t budge, no matter how much effort I threw at it. I was angry, frustrated, and overwhelmed by how out of control I felt. And because of that, I was miserable most of the time.

I kept asking God to fix what felt so terribly wrong and began to feel like He had forgotten about me. Then one day, I just got tired of the fight. I came to Him in total humility and said, “I can’t keep going on like this. I don’t want to be unhappy any longer, and obviously the situation isn’t going to change. Please help me handle my life with grace and let go of the resistance.”

What amazed me was how quickly everything began to shift once I stopped insisting that things go my way. Almost without trying, I began to feel happy again. People even started commenting on how different I looked. I knew it wasn’t anything external—it was because God had changed my heart. That’s when I discovered what I now call power versus force.

Spencer W. Kimball said, “When threatened, we become anti-enemy instead of pro-kingdom of God . . . We forget that if we are righteous the Lord will either not suffer our enemies to come upon us . . . or He will fight our battle for us.”

When I read that, it hit me hard. I had been so focused on fighting what was happening that I forgot to turn to God for guidance. I was more concerned with being right than being led. I was trying to force change, and as long as I held onto that mindset, I was blocking myself from accessing the power God offers to help us handle the hard things.

James Allen writes that we fight against circumstances by “continually revolting against an effort without, while all the time we are nourishing and preserving its cause in our heart.” That hit home. That’s force. That’s exactly what I was doing—and not only was it ineffective, it was exhausting.

I’ve come to believe there are two ways to harness power, and they work together. First is through our thoughts. Our thoughts carry power, and when they align with what we truly want, we naturally attract what we need—whether that’s a tangible outcome or a solution to a problem. The second is choosing to go up instead of out—meaning, we turn to God first instead of trying to tackle everything on our own. That second part, for me, is the most important. When something is right, God helps us align our thoughts.

Now, anytime I feel like I’m pushing something on my own, I recognize it as force—and usually, pride is somewhere in the mix. That’s my cue to pause and turn it over to God. When I do that, I’m stepping into power, letting Him guide both my thoughts and actions.

Since making that shift, my life has taken a complete turn. And here’s the most surprising part: the situation I thought had to change… actually did. But by then, I realized it wasn’t really the situation that had been making me miserable—it was the way I was thinking about it. God helped me see that.

Now I filter everything through this lens: power versus force. And it works.

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