By Beckie Dragon

I started doing the assignments for Facilitator Training back in May 2020. I got one article written but then felt like I couldn’t really write about the other laws without experiencing them while manifesting my goals. I tried to focus on setting goals and worked to achieve them in my business. But it wasn’t going very well, and I was just getting more discouraged and behind. I would set them with prayer and see and feel them accomplished with gratitude. I kept coming up short but trying to trust everything was as it should be, and trust in the law of gestation. 

The fact that I was getting further behind in my preparation for Facilitator Training was weighing heavily on me. I didn’t feel like I had a clear understanding of the laws or how to apply them. I thought to myself, “What are you thinking? You can’t even apply these laws yourself and see success let alone teach anyone else.” I was filled with anxiety, doubt and hopelessness. I could see my husband moving forward and felt like I was being left behind. 

About this time Cari was wanting a renewed commitment from everyone on Facilitator Track, if we were really all in. I wrote in my journal: “I can see I am not happy where I am at. I feel like I am just treading water. I am comfortable being uncomfortable because I don’t know anything else. I continue to do what I have always done. … I need to do something different. … I have struggled to believe or see myself doing it. I haven’t been able to even begin to write my articles – I did one but felt like it wasn’t what Leslie wanted. I have just kept putting it off but the weight of it has weighed heavily on my subconscious mind.” I basically wrote and wrote (six pages worth) in my journal to work through my feelings. 

I wrote how “I had a fleeting thought that maybe I needed to visualize and manifest myself successful in manifesting Facilitator Training and writing articles.” 

I decided the way I would know if it was right for me to continue was, if I could write one article that day, I would know God was with me and helping me, and I would be able to finish. I began by reading “Hidden Treasures.” It randomly opened to Leslie quoting scriptures about faith. I actually recorded that in my journal as well. For example, James 1:6, which says “ask in faith, nothing wavering,” as well as others. 

Then, as Leslie has also taught us to ask ourselves what’s the worst that could happen, I asked myself the question, “What will happen if I don’t succeed?”

That really helped me a lot to explore those thoughts and feelings. 

I wrote about the baggage I needed to let go of as in the vacuum law of prosperity. I needed to let go of “I can’t” and replace it with “I can, and I will find a way.” “I can’t see it or believe or visualize,” replaced with “I can see and feel with gratitude and know Heavenly Father wants what I want.” I actually wrote, “I let go of disbelief and apathy…I see myself writing my articles with God’s help and I feel relief, joy, gratitude, triumphant, renewed.” Then I did EFT (tapping) to help me let go of the baggage and replace it with the good. It was a long process but well worth it! I felt so much better! 

Even though I hadn’t actually written an article, I felt like I could recommit to Cari that I would finish the assignments for Facilitator Training.

Later I was talking to Steve about how the day had gone and what I was thinking and feeling. We talked about the next step of writing the articles. I couldn’t begin to see how to apply them since I hadn’t actually been manifesting anything. He made a comment that really hit me. I recorded in my journal, “He said I should write my articles telling my experiences with past thoughts and feelings of using the laws and principles and how not to use them, or how I used them negatively and then express my new belief and testimony of how I choose to be: I choose to believe, I choose to see, I choose to trust. It felt right and I was moved to tears. It gave me hope. He said, “Surely you are not the only one that has had this problem. Maybe your experience could help someone else.”

I have finished all my assignments now and I can tell you I didn’t do it by myself. I feel the Lord was with me. I am amazed and feel so grateful!

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