Avoiding Debt-Payoff Self-Sabotage

Today’s Question comes from Allyson. She wanted to know:

“How do I visualize paying off debt, without creating a subconscious desire for MORE debt to pay off?”

In her words:

I’ve been listening to your Science of Getting Rich Program over the last couple of weeks and have a question for you.

This next year my husband and I want to create financial freedom, which to us looks like a zero balance on all the credit cards and everything paid off. What we’re bumping up against is we keep visualizing the victory with paying off credit cards, and we don’t want to train our mind into seeking more debt for that thrill of paying it off.

But financial freedom feels so esoteric to us that I am having a hard time pinning down an emotion associated with financial freedom. I’ve thought about what I want life to look like when there are no more debts, and it’s just that everything is normal, I feel secure and I sleep well every night, we are able to invest, and we’re able to pay a lot in tithing and fast offerings and so forth… but it doesn’t carry the emotional thrill that having zero debt has.

Can you help me reframe this, please? I KNOW we can create financial freedom this year. I want to make sure we’re not future sabotaging by the emotion we’re connecting to the visualization, or that we’re visualizing the wrong thing.

Thank you so much! – A.C.

Here’s my Answer:

One of the best pieces of advice I got on this was to spend energy picturing and planning the details of life “after”, and get excited about the feelings associated with normal life. But sometimes nothing else sounds quite as exciting, so I do get that it’s important to be emotionally invested in getting out of debt. I don’t know if this is necessarily the best way, but I’ll tell you how we finally did it. And I’m sorry, it’s kind of rambling without editing, so I hope it’s helpful:

We listened a lot to Dave Ramsey (which was painful at first, but eventually allowed us to get REALLY excited about being out of debt, WITH the new mindset that also kept us from sabotaging ourselves when the goal was achieved. It’s good medicine. Best of both worlds, in my opinion.

We first made a commitment to stop using credit to tide us over if we came up short in any given month. This commitment was before we tried to pay anything off, I think. It meant that we had to use “rare faith” a LOT. Every month, for a while in fact, until we started noticing that miracle after miracle, the principles were proving to be dependable, as long as we kept to the commitment and expected another miracle. …I had never realized what a shift in mentality that required for us, because we were coming from an “investing” mindset – using other people’s money to invest for high returns. (Which, we did really well at for a while, until we got caught in the recession and people couldn’t pay money that they owed us, and the dominoes began to really fall.)

We also had to get serious about budgeting. How on earth would we do that when our income was unpredictable?? We decided we’d just do our best. So it meant looking back over the year and coming up with average monthly dollar amounts for all the predictable expenses. We were barely making it with our business income, and when we came up short, I’d just run a promotion or something, so how do I budget when I’m so used to being reactionary to our needs? We got those monthly figures, and then decided on a monthly amount that the business had to make – so it meant setting up an automatic transfer from business to personal every two weeks.

This freaked me out at first because I thought, “Well, what if the business doesn’t make that much?” and “What if I don’t feel motivated to make more than the bi-monthly draw?” And the first month, it was patchy. I had to scramble to make enough before the transfer hit, which was new because I wasn’t scrambling to pay a bill, I was scrambling to pay myself.

Something about that helped with another mindset shift I needed – because I was scrambling to pay MYSELF instead of scrambling to pay a bill (even though the result was the same). I scrambled again to make enough in time for the second draw. And I didn’t really earn more than the bare minimum.

But after that first month, something felt different. I started working for the joy of it again, knowing that the draw would automatically cover my bills, and I found myself wondering how much more I could make, just for fun. Our financial planner told me to “Let the business account build up”, so no matter how much I generated, I was still only allowed to spend the fixed monthly budgeted amount. That was a new concept to me. (Because previously I was always just reacting to our needs.) So that’s what the budget did for me – it stopped me from thinking so much about bills, and helped me get back to just creating.

The next month I did really well, but still only received the fixed draw into my personal account. The business account started to grow and grow. THAT did a lot for my psyche. Out of the budgeted amount, certain amounts went to paying off bills, and as things started going better, I got a real charge out of paying off debts early. We started to get a bigger charge out of saving, too. This was a new experience for us. I made more rules for myself – like if I generated a certain amount of revenue by the end of the year, I’d give myself a bonus. Otherwise the money stayed in the business account, which was nice because then I had reserves I could use for investing more in my business – product, hired help, etc. It also made it so that the tax bill at the end of the year wasn’t a giant blow to our pocketbook – there was money saved and enough to cover the tax bill and to spare.

Anyway, we felt like step one had to be learning how to live with the new system of paying myself, and within these budgeting restrictions (something that ran counter to the “abundance mindset” – but again, it felt like necessary short-term medicine for our long-term wealth plan).

So the short answer is this. If you want to be really excited about paying off debt, you CAN. But keep it paired with a constant reminder of the principles that build a wise and solid foundation. Follow Dave’s Baby Steps. I used to think he was only about budgeting for people on limited incomes. But he’s more about wealth building – it’s just that too many people skip the steps that build a solid foundation, so that’s why he hammers that part so much. Too often I see people get caught up in the excitement about paying off debt without the education (and pants-kicking) that keeps them wise afterwards, and they get sucked back into the same problems over and over again. Pulling rabbits out of the hat to keep fixing debt problems does work, but it becomes exhausting.

So if your vision is a normal, peaceful, joyful abundant life, then submit yourself to Dave’s podcast (if you aren’t already listening to him). Like I said, it can be painful in the short term, but it’s really made all the difference for us in the longer term. It keeps us in check, and has really added to my ability to live the normal peaceful life I always wanted.

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The Pendant

I received an email from one of my readers and I just HAD to share it with you. Check this out:

Hi Leslie,

I have been following you for over a year now and I can’t tell you how much these principles have meant to me and changed my life, AND the lives of those around me…

[Here’s my] experiment with the laws of thought over the past 4 weeks:

It is written in letter form to a girl who came to play soccer with us one Saturday and lost a special pendant from her necklace on the field.

The Pendant

As soon as I heard you had lost a piece of jewelry, I immediately wanted to help you get it back. Knowing from my past when I’ve lost necklaces or other jewelry that has meant a lot to me, I know how sad it can be, but I’ve also had enough experience of finding things miraculously that I knew it had to be possible to get this back for you. I went off to a corner of the playground and started to pray. I realized I had been a bit snippy in some of my remarks on the field earlier, so I quickly re-centered my heart and made myself right with God. Then I expressed my desire to help find your pendant and get it back to you. I knew it was on the field somewhere so I asked for His guidance to help us find it. I could feel that God really loves you, and wanted to give you your pendant back, so I was confident that we would find it!

I recruited my 5 year old son and my nephew, David, who had played soccer with us and told them that we were looking for a teardrop pendant that had been dropped somewhere on the field. They immediately got on their hands and feet and started prowling around “like tigers” (in their words 😂). It was seriously only a few minutes before David jumped up, saying, “I think I found it! Is this it?” We were all so excited and grateful, we immediately dropped to our needs to say a thank-you prayer for helping us find it so quickly. I knew it had been a miracle! But that was only the beginning…

Heading back to the car, we had been picking up some litter on the field and I noticed more trash in our car so I decided to do a little bit of cleanup before leaving. After gathering all the trash out of our car and throwing it in the trash bin next to the field, I got back in the car. As we were getting ready to pull away I all the sudden realized I had no idea where the pendant was! My stomach sank and I thought “I can’t believe I misplaced it this quickly.” But I knew I had just had it and it couldn’t have gone far. So I quickly prayed again, knowing that if God helped us find it once and I had it in my hand only a few minutes earlier, he could help me find it again. Immediately the thought came to check in the trash can. Sure enough, in my effort to clean up the trash, I had accidentally thrown the pendent away with the rest of it, and after searching in the trash can for a few seconds, there it was sitting at the bottom. Again I breathed a sigh of relief and gratitude, and, slightly reprimanding myself for letting something so precious end up in the trash can, redoubled my efforts to take good care of it. In the meantime, I texted a few people to let them know we had found it and to ask how to get it back to you. Eventually, I got a hold of Chuck’s number to text him the amazing news.

Later that Saturday as I was at someone’s house babysitting their kids, I got a text from Chuck saying that he would be driving into Nenana that night and could pick it up and bring it to you at first-day school the next day. Just as I was about to text him back, thinking that would be perfect timing, my stomach sank again as I realized I had no idea where it was to give it back to him. 😱 I had no recollection of where I had put the pendant when I got home. Thankfully, since I honestly wasn’t home to look for it, I thought I could buy myself some time by letting him know I wasn’t home that night but to let me know when the next available time to meet up could be. I went home and, this time much more frantically, prayed to find it. This time there was a total mental block of anything that happened when I got home from the soccer field. I could not even replay anything in my mind; it was like my memory was completely gone. At this point I was tempted to feel really guilty. Guilty that I had been so careless. Guilty I had disregarded the previous two miracles and felt unworthy to ask for it a third time. Guilty that it had been my fault and result of my carelessness that the pendent was lost, and how embarrassing it would be to have already said we found it and then for me to have to go back and admit that I had carelessly misplaced it. But I KNEW I wasn’t careless, I cared a LOT! I couldn’t explain why I had been so absent minded, but I KNEW my heart was definitely in it and I cared a great deal about getting it back to you! I had had enough experiences to know that these self-critical thoughts were tricks of the adversary to shake me from my faith that it was possible to find it once more and return it. It was really tempting to give in to those feelings of unworthiness to ask a third time, but knowing the goodness of God, I admitted my fault of not consciously taking better care of it, and plead for grace, knowing that God cares about the details in your life and mine. I held fast to the vision of being able to give it back to you and even though it seemed like all was lost, I believed that it must still be possible.

I searched, and searched, and searched again, but still nothing. I thought, “Man, there really must be something special about this pendant, because if God already helped me twice, there has to be a lesson behind what’s happening now, because I’m really doing all within my power to find and bring it back.” Two days passed and I went to Wellness meeting. Chuck was there. My heart sank knowing that I still didn’t know where the pendant was, but I knew I had to be upfront and honest with him about what had happened– there was no hiding here! So after the meeting was finished, I told him everything that had happened, but expressed my faith that it would still turn up, I just had to be patient, and asked if he would pray too. Chuck was so compassionate and affirmed his belief as well. He told me that it indeed was a very special pendant, and that you had been so sad to lose it. That just redoubled my desire and commitment to exercise my faith that it would show up again. Chuck recommended that when I found it, I should type up the story to give it to you, so that’s what this is for! I went home and searched, and searched, and searched some more, again to no avail. It really was in God’s hands now, but instead of getting discouraged, I let myself feel peace, trust, and confident in God’s love and timing.

Over the next days I still battled with the thoughts that I had blown it, that I was believing in something unrealistic, that this was “too good” of an outcome to really be true, that this was expending too much emotional energy, and that you didn’t know I had found it yet (Chuck told me he had only let your parents know so it could be a surprise for you) so maybe I should just let it go. But I couldn’t. I had faith that if I prayed for this pendant to be restored to you, and I had already felt peace about it, AND had found it twice that IT WASN’T OVER YET. Just because it seemed like my prayers had already been answered twice and it was too late to ask again, perhaps my original prayer hadn’t been fully answered yet because the process wasn’t complete, and that this experience was PART of the process, just several obstacles that needed to be overcome to make the reward that much more sweet. So I kept holding on to that vision, and my confidence just became more sure that it was going to show up.

Last Friday evening as we were cleaning our house to have some guests over, my husband held it up and asked “is this it?” I can’t even express the emotions I felt as I saw that pendant again. Gratitude, awe, relief, amazement, confidence, peace, and more gratitude! But most of all, I felt the significance of this experience and what it taught me: that just because the battle seems lost, doesn’t mean it’s over. That self-disparaging thoughts will shake us from our belief of what’s possible and are a tool of the adversary to get us to feel unworthy of going to God with our needs, desires and worries. That God is faithful to bless his children with the sincere desires of their heart because he loves them so deeply we cannot comprehend! And lastly, the power of faith, of seeing it done and holding onto the hope of the final outcome and being guided to the next step of the process to overcome the seemingly impossible challenge. God is all about accomplishing the impossible and delights when we give him our faith to join Him in the process. Thank you so much for allowing me to have this precious experience by lending me your pendant. May this story add even more value to this already precious pendant. It has meant everything to me ❤️.

Isn’t that such an amazing and powerful experience?? Thank you for facilitating that for me… [and for] thank you for being such a powerful conduit for God’s principles to work in my life. These principles have quickened me and my life mission in so many ways!

Love you so much, Amie V. 🥰

Thank you for taking the time to share this, Amie! 

I love how intentional Amie was in thinking “in the certain way” throughout the challenge. And that includes getting back on course when she felt herself getting off track. It’s not an easy thing to do, but there is really no better way to understand how this all works than by simply practicing the principles and exercising that rare faith muscle. Keep up the great work!

Do YOU have a story to share? Let me know!

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Weekly Forum

Hi everyone!

This message is for everyone who has ever participated in the Mindset Mastery Program, OR who hope/plan to join soon.

Some of our recent GUIDED Mindset Mastery students expressed how much our weekly video zoom meetings helped, and how much they wish the calls didn’t have to end.

Our sudden spike in graduation applications is a testament to how effective those weekly calls have been.

Good news!

We listened, and decided to create an ONGOING Weekly Forum for that very purpose, and make it open to EVERYONE who is a Mindset Mastery participant, not just Guided class members.

Did you hear that???

Introducing…

The Mindset Mastery Weekly Forum!

The Weekly Forum is available for ANY participant who wants continual Q/A and discussion for the extra edge it provides for helping the principles become habitual, instinctive, and intuitive.

We want you to graduate! We want you to achieve that goal you’re working on right now!

This new weekly call will be FREESTYLE – in other words, it won’t be tied to any particular lesson the way our Guided Mindset Mastery Class is.

No, THIS special discussion will focus completely on YOUR burning questions that you and other students submit on a week to week basis.

Imagine that!

But GET THIS:

Even though the Forum won’t focus on any specific lesson, you’ll actually get access to each of the GUIDED Mindset Mastery lesson recordings for ALL previous sessions! At no extra charge!!

*****
The students in those classes generously agreed to let their session recordings be made available to YOU. Join the Forum and you’ll find out why they would agree to such a thing.
*****

Powerful stuff!!

What better way is there to go deep, get your questions answered, and glean all the nuggets inside these powerful concepts that change lives?

Your month-to-month access to this special discussion begins:

  • Thursday July 11 (and then each Thursday after except holidays)
  • 6:30 pm PT / 7:30 MT / 8:30 CT / 9:30 ET
  • Replay available if you can’t attend live

Originally launched (and sold) at $597 for three months membership, we JUST dropped the price to only $38.95/mo!

(Those who already purchased at the higher price get their choice of 16 months pre-paid Weekly Forum membership, or credit toward a Physical Mindset Mastery program and 6 months membership)

To participate in the Weekly Forum at just $38.95/mo, you must have continuing access the lessons, OR be a Mindset Mastery Graduate.

There are three ways to do this:

So AFTER you meet one of the three requirements above, you may enroll in the Weekly Forum below for just $38.95/mo:

>>>>> http://bit.ly/mm-weekly-forum

See you there!

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Debra Woolleys Graduation Spotlight

I am pleased to present Debra Woolley as a new Mindset Mastery Honors Graduate! She achieved honors status with a total of 303 points!

From the very beginning, I could feel Debra’s intention to give the program 100%. She learned the laws of thought with an abundance of faith and determination that allowed her to break through numerous terror barriers and achieve things she wasn’t sure were possible. She was excellent at using the law of gestation to let go of the “how” and have faith in her journey. Thank you for your inspirational example Debra!

Debra’s phase-one inconsequential goal was to find the perfect owner for her puppy, Rosie. Here is the touching story in her own words:

I have bred and sold little puppies over the years as a hobby and have decided to end on this last little batch of Chorkies…I try to be very careful to place them in the perfect home but sometimes that is hard to tell when the people come to see them…

As the time got closer to selling the puppies, I began to really bond with one that I had planned to sell. Her name was Rosie. I told my husband that I didn’t know if I could … let her go because I loved her so much… I knew that she was a special little girl that seemed to be tuned in to the emotions of others. When I was struggling, she would come and sit on my lap, forgoing play with her sisters until I felt better. Then she wold look into my eyes as if to check and see if I was ok. I would say, “It’s ok Rosie, you can go play now,” and she would hop down and play for a few minutes, then check back with me by hopping into my lap and just sitting there watching her sisters play….

I knew that I could not let her go to just anyone, so I decided not to place an ad for her at all. I told my husband that I could only let her go If I knew for sure that the perfect person showed up. I did place and ad for the 4th little puppy and I put the price at the top end of the scale for little Chorkies. About an hour later my daughter was at the store with the father of the puppies and an older woman approached her asking her where she got such a tiny and adorable puppy…When she saw “Donny,” she felt something. My daughter said that her mom, (me), was selling a little one just like him and she brought the woman over to my home.

As soon as she walked in the door, I knew in my heart and mind that she was here for Rosie, but wasn’t sure if I was ready to actually let Rosie go. I showed her the one that I placed an ad for, and she held her and said that she was very cute and tempted to get her but wasn’t sure if it was a good fit for her or not. I hesitated and she could sense that I was hesitating for a reason so she looked at me as if to say “go ahead and say it.” I told her that I had another puppy but I wasn’t sure if I was going to sell her or not. She asked if she could see her and so I went to get Rosie. As soon as I placed Rosie in her arms a smile spread across her face and I knew it was a match. Rosie snuggled into her and just loved her. It was so sweet. After sweet goodbyes were said to this sweet little puppy, she drove away.

Later, Debra sent me this message:

The mindset mastery program has been such a blessing in my life. It has answered so many questions as to why my life was the way it was… I knew that it was because of my thoughts but didn’t know how to create with intention.

Debra, well done. You co-created the perfect situation with your skillful intention.

Debra’s story got even better as she worked on a bite-sized, phase-two goal. Here is her story:

I have been on this journey for a while, learning all about how the mind works and the biology of what is actually taking place in the brain. I knew that I wanted to share what I had been learning with people and have done so just here and there as people have shown up in my life. I could still feel there was a block but I couldn’t identify it. My bite-sized goal was to have something show up that would assist me in identifying the block and releasing it.

I was listening to Dr. Bruce Lipton who mentioned some modalities that could help, and he mentioned Psych K as a very powerful modality for bringing people into a whole-brain state, where they could transform the limiting belief in just minutes.

I knew that was the answer I was waiting for. I got online and found a class on how to learn and become a facilitator that was taking place in Portland, Oregon, and I signed up for the class. During the class, I was asked to be the model as she demonstrated how to identify our limiting beliefs through muscle testing. As she went down the list, I held strong on all of them until she said this one, “I am willing to take the RISK to change.” I felt all of the strength just drain out of my body even before she tested me on that belief. We were able to clear it in a matter of minutes by putting me in a whole-brain state, and it made a huge shift in me. I have now broken through my biggest terror barrier and am doing things I would never have agreed to do before! When the pupil is ready, the master will appear!

I love how Debra used the Law of Cause and Effect, taking one small step toward her goal—listening to a radio program–and the solution she needed took a huge step toward her. She was rewarded with inspiration that helped her find her block. The solutions to life’s challenges are truly just an idea away! I was also impressed at her willingness to go the extra mile, literally and figuratively—Portland, OR is more than just a few miles away from her home in American Fork, Utah—to follow her inspiration.

Debra left me with these kind words at the conclusion of her program:

Wow! Leslie, I can’t express my appreciation enough to you for this course! It was foundational for my journey and I knew that when I started it.

Again, many congratulations, Debra! 

___________________

What’s YOUR story going to be?

I want to see YOU graduate, too!

Learn more about the Mindset Mastery program HERE.

___________________

The Mindset Mastery Program is not to be confused with the Mindset Fundamentals Ecourse.

The Fundamentals Ecourse provides an introductory exploration into the principles that govern success for effective goal setting. It also fills the gaps to give you a basic but complete understanding of the principles, so that you have a solid foundation on which to develop true mastery. 

By contrast, the Mastery Program is focused on the *implementation* of those principles and the *achievement* of your goals. It is full of interesting assignments that take you step-by-step through two experimental goals, challenging your thought processes, helping you experience success, and setting up a pattern in your thinking that you will be able to utilize over and over for effectiveness with all of your future goals. We have a self-paced version, but we also have a GUIDED version if you want to go through the lessons on a weekly basis with an expert guide. View all your options here.

I hope you’ll join me in one of these programs, so I can help you take your understanding and success to the next level in ALL areas of your life. Learn more HERE.

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#54: Dare to Dream

Looking for this? – Debra Woolley’s Graduation Spotlight is HERE

Podcast is below:

I waited 10 years to share this story.

This is the podcast I mentioned during my Facebook Live.

After experiencing success, then tremendous failure, I describe my family’s journey as we tried to put the pieces of our shattered life back together. I reveal details of what it took for us to dare to dream again, and the play-by-play results of my first major experiment meant to regain my confidence.

This audio was recorded at a live event called Master Creator by Eric Bailey, where I was a keynote guest speaker.

Resources mentioned on the audio:

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