One of my students in Achieving the Impossible sent me a powerful tool she created for her own coaching practice that helps people 1) deal with difficult emotions, and 2) develop better connections with loved ones.
I LOVE IT! I’m going to file it under “Things I wish I had known a long time ago.”
It’s only 6 minutes, and I think it has the potential to literally change everything. Check it out!
Learn more about Amy at www.amyfraughtoncoaching.com
Transcript:
For quite some time as I’ve been going through your course. And it just is so much in alignment with what you teach that I thought I would share this and finally I’m doing it.
So here we go. This is what I call the miracle cycle. It’s something that I developed over the last number of years with my training and my experiences with my own clients and how.
So I’m move through their emotional state and how to have like a more, uh, higher life. And so it starts with over here.
It’s pretty self-explanatory, but I will explain it. When we’re in the red zone, it’s any negative emotion. So it could be resistance, anxiety, confusion, anger.
Like you can read the whole list, any type of negative emotion that’s not so serving us. First being aware of that and noticing where we are is the first step.
What most people do when they’re in the red zone is they try to jump over to the gold zone. They try to force happiness.
They try to just be positive, and just to replace it like one for the other. But I find that oftentimes when we do that, like we’re trying to like, use affirmations to make it a great day and just think through the thing.
But back here, we still have this festering of the problem that we still haven’t accepted. And so we actually tighten it because we’re resisting the fact that we have this negative emotion about it.
What I’ve learned has been more effective is to go through what I call the blue zone. And this is where we start to let it go.
We start to accept, we start to have grace for ourselves, for the emotions that we’re experiencing and for the experience that we’re having.
And as we do that, it lightens our, it loosens up our nervous system because we change our thoughts about it.
And we’re able to move into the blue zone into this calmer place. And then once we’re in this calmer place in the blue zone, it’s then that we can start moving into the miracle zone, which is creating and being abundant and having more clarity.
When we’re in the red zone, there’s no clarity. It’s just a bunch of red scribble marks in our brain. We’re just so red.
We can’t think clear. We can’t get inspired. We can’t be uplifted. We can’t be, you know, we can’t get the answers we’re looking for.
But as we let it go and go through the blue zone, then we have the opportunity to start choosing that and to get the clarity we need.
And it’s also true in prayers. I find oftentimes we pray from fear. We pray from worry. We pray from anxiety.
Please, please, please neediness, right? And I don’t feel like there’s a lot of room for God. God to do his work with us as long as we stay in this state, which is a choice.
But once we move into this state of trusting in God, letting go and stop trying to control the situation, it’s then that we can go into this gold zone where he’s able to give us the answers and enlighten us and give us the clarity and the understanding and a lot of times abundance, right?
So anyway, it’s pretty amazing. My clients and I have all found it really helpful to have the three zones and just to be really thinking about it.
I wanted to share too, just, uhm, some other cycles that tend to happen. So, uhm, you know, we can have a miracle cycle for different relationships.
We can have them for different experiences that we’re having all in our life and we can have gold zones happening in our life all at the same time.
But what a lot of people do is when they’re in the red zone, they stay in the red zone for a long time.
Sometimes years, sometimes their whole life. They’re always just like the victim, always, uhm, angry, always frustrated. They never move to let go.
Sometimes it’s just that they’re trying to control everything. Maybe they don’t have an anxiety, but they’re just trying to control it.
Everything in their life and they never let go. Or the other one I see often is they move from the red zone to the blue zone, like they’ll be red and then they’ll be calm and then they’ll be red and then they’ll be calm, but they never get to the gold zone.
And that’s a choice that we have to make and that we have to create is moving into the gold zone.
And so over here, I find this as the ideal cycle. We will always have red zones. It’s God’s plan that we’ll always have trials, but we want to minimize our red zones from this to this.
And we want to maximize our gold zones from this to this. And so the more we work we can do in the blue zone of letting go, trusting, having grace, accepting, it’s then that we’ll be able to then choose to start moving into the gold zone, recognizing the blessings of our life, expanding that part and growing that part of our life. But as long as we keep bouncing back in the red zone, we limit our potential in this area.
Now I’ll share with you how this works in relationships, especially as parents. Uhm, when we parent from the state of being in the red zone, we actually put our children in the red zone.
There’s something called emotional contagion, and it’s when we carry emotions. We actually- those emotions are contagious and we put them onto our children.
If I’m parenting from fear, I am helping my child develop anxiety, and that’s a small example. And so, what we want to do is we want to be parenting over here from love and peace and, you know, confidence and clarity and also space. And so, there’s a lot to it, but I find that so many times, we come as parents naturally, of course, we do, right?
We’re worried about our kids, we want the best for them, but as we stay in this, we don’t trust, trust is such a huge, huge form of love that, uhm, when we don’t have that trust, there’s such a big lack of connection for the child. And so, we don’t have as much, uhm, positive, magnetism, uhm, magnetic energy of them moving towards us, but instead, we’re more pushing them away from us.
But if we can parent more from the blue zone of, like, trusting in God, in what’s happening with our child, and in allowance, and letting go of some things, still holding the respect and structure framework, but still being able to do that. Do all this in a way that we can now operate from love. It’s then that I find the child move towards us.
The relationship dramatically improves and the parent has a lot more influence on where they want to help the child to go. So it’s really amazing too, to see how this works with relationships. I just want to share that with you too. Anyway, I hope it’s helpful. Talk to you later!
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